The essay addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance in favor of a shorter working week and longer weekends. The main arguments presented are that reduced working hours can lead to higher productivity and improved mental health for workers. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support these claims. For instance, citing studies or real-world examples where reduced working hours have led to increased productivity would strengthen the argument.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of linking words and phrases such as "first and foremost," "moreover," and "in conclusion" helps to guide the reader through the argument. However, some sentences could be more clearly connected to improve the flow of ideas. For example, the transition between discussing productivity and mental health could be smoother, perhaps by explicitly linking how improved mental health can lead to better productivity.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at using more complex words and phrases such as "deteriorate conflicts" and "cognitive abilities." However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choice, such as "sacrifice to fatigue" and "boosted energy would lift the others spirit either." These could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, some repetition of words like "productivity" could be avoided by using synonyms or rephrasing.
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is positive. However, there are several grammatical errors that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. For example, "there might be a belief that heavy weekly work lead to higher productivity" should be "leads to higher productivity," and "prevent from aggression" should be "prevent aggression." Attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositions would improve the grammatical accuracy of the essay.
Provide Specific Examples: Incorporate specific examples or evidence to support the claims about productivity and mental health benefits.
Improve Transitions: Work on smoother transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Refine Vocabulary: Address awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices to improve lexical resource.
Enhance Grammatical Accuracy: Pay attention to common grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and preposition use.
By addressing these areas, the essay would present a more compelling and polished argument in favor of a shorter working week.