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Question:
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Response:
Many argue that the number of days that people should work during a week needs to be decreased. This essay supports this notion because it can benefit both establishments and societies. Firstly, well-rested employees will have higher performance, and secondly, family bonds will become stronger when they spend more time together. On one hand, the more time people have to wind down after a week of hard work, the sharper their minds will be in the following week. In other words, lack of proper rest will result in exhausted workers, who are more prone to making serious mistakes. Consequently, the company's overall outcome will be detrimentally affected. Therefore, providing employees with an additional day off not only boosts workers productivity, but also enhances the company's performance. For instance, in the UAE, most companies are launching a program that entails a three-day weekend. On the other hand, if people become too immersed in their work and do not have enough time to spend quality time with their families, their loved ones can be adversely affected. As a result, society could face greater challenges. For example, in the USA, since working all day is considered a value, many families have broken apart. This phenomenon has caused many children to suffer from behavioural difficulties, which, by a snowball effect, will deteriorate companies' performance in the future. In conclusion, this essay believes it is a good strategy to shorten the working week because it can enhance the output of companies, as well as mitigate the risk of social challenges.
Marking your essay. This might take a few minutes.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Many argue that the number of days that people should work during a week needs to be decreased. This essay supports this notion because it can benefit both establishmentsbusinesses and societies. Firstly, well-rested employees will have higher performanceperform better, and secondly, family bonds will become stronger strengthen when they spend more time together. On one hand, the more time people have to wind down after a week of hard work, the sharper their minds will be in the following week. In other words, lack of proper rest will result in exhausted workers, who are more pronelikely to makingmake serious mistakes. Consequently, the company's overall outcomeoutput will be detrimentallynegatively affected. Therefore, providing employees with an additional day off not only boosts workersworker productivity, but also enhances the company's performance. For instance, in the UAE, most companies are launchingimplementing a program that entailsincludes a three-day weekend. On the other hand, if people become too immersed in their work and do not have enough time to spend quality time with their families, their loved ones can be adverselynegatively affected. As a result, society could face greater challenges. For example, in the USA, since working all daylong hours is considered a valuevirtue, many families have broken apart. This phenomenon has caused many children to suffer from behavioural difficultiesissues, which, by a snowball effectin turn, will deteriorateharm companies' performance in the future. In conclusion, this essay believes it is a good strategy to shorten the working week because it can enhanceimprove the output of companies, as well as mitigatereduce the risk of social challenges.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Many argue that the number of days that people should work during a week needs to be decreased. This essay supports this notion because it can benefit both establishments and societies. Firstly, well-rested employees will have higher performance, and secondly, family bonds will become stronger when they spend more time together.
Many argue that the standard working week should be shortened. This essay strongly supports this view as it offers significant benefits for both businesses and society. Primarily, well-rested employees demonstrate improved productivity, while increased leisure time strengthens family relationships.
On one hand, the more time people have to wind down after a week of hard work, the sharper their minds will be in the following week. In other words, lack of proper rest will result in exhausted workers, who are more prone to making serious mistakes. Consequently, the company's overall outcome will be detrimentally affected. Therefore, providing employees with an additional day off not only boosts workers productivity, but also enhances the company's performance. For instance, in the UAE, most companies are launching a program that entails a three-day weekend.
Firstly, adequate rest periods enable workers to maintain optimal cognitive performance. When employees have sufficient time to recuperate, they return to work refreshed and more focused. Conversely, chronic fatigue leads to decreased concentration and higher error rates, ultimately harming organizational performance. For example, numerous companies in the UAE have successfully implemented four-day work weeks, reporting both increased employee satisfaction and enhanced operational efficiency.
On the other hand, if people become too immersed in their work and do not have enough time to spend quality time with their families, their loved ones can be adversely affected. As a result, society could face greater challenges. For example, in the USA, since working all day is considered a value, many families have broken apart. This phenomenon has caused many children to suffer from behavioural difficulties, which, by a snowball effect, will deteriorate companies' performance in the future.
Moreover, extended working hours often come at the expense of family life. When individuals devote excessive time to their careers, personal relationships inevitably suffer. The United States provides a cautionary example, where workaholic culture has contributed to rising divorce rates and childhood behavioral issues. These social problems ultimately create long-term economic consequences as future workforces may lack proper social support systems.
In conclusion, this essay believes it is a good strategy to shorten the working week because it can enhance the output of companies, as well as mitigate the risk of social challenges.
In conclusion, reducing the standard work week represents a prudent policy that simultaneously boosts corporate performance and safeguards societal wellbeing. The evidence clearly demonstrates that both businesses and communities stand to gain from this progressive approach.
Band Score: 8

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement:
Your essay presents a clear position in favor of a shorter working week and longer weekends, which aligns well with the prompt. You provide two main arguments—improved employee performance and stronger family bonds—and support them with relevant examples (UAE’s three-day weekend and the impact of overwork in the USA). However, the examples could be more detailed or substantiated with data to strengthen your argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance but could be slightly more nuanced by acknowledging potential counterarguments.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. The use of linking words ("Firstly," "On one hand," "On the other hand," "In conclusion") helps guide the reader smoothly through your argument. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing employee performance to family bonds feels abrupt—a brief bridging sentence could improve flow.

Lexical Resource:
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate for an academic essay (e.g., "detrimentally affected," "adversely affected," "snowball effect"). However, there are minor inaccuracies ("workers productivity" should be "workers' productivity"). Avoid slightly informal phrasing like "wind down" in favor of more formal alternatives ("recover" or "recharge").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with complex structures such as conditional sentences ("if people become too immersed...") and passive voice ("families have broken apart"). However, there are a few errors:

  • "the company's overall outcome will be detrimentally affected" → "the company's overall performance" (more natural collocation).
  • "many families have broken apart" → "many families have broken up" or "families have fractured" (more idiomatic).
  • "mitigate the risk of social challenges" → "reduce social challenges" (more concise).

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Expand on Examples: Provide statistics or studies to support claims (e.g., how UAE’s three-day weekend improved productivity).
  2. Smooth Transitions: Add a sentence linking the two body paragraphs to improve coherence.
  3. Refine Word Choice: Replace informal phrases with more academic language where needed.
  4. Proofread for Errors: Check for minor grammatical and punctuation mistakes (e.g., possessive forms, article usage).

Overall, this is a strong essay with a clear argument and good structure. With minor refinements, it could be even more persuasive and polished.

See more samples for this question