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Question:
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Response:
In the present climate, environmental problems have sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There exist two perspectives regarding those challenges. While one viewpoint claims that extinction of certain species of flora and fauna is the most important problem, the other argues there are more notable challenges. The proponents of preservation of animals and plants may provide several justifications. Firstly, it has been scientifically proven that the survival of all creatures are dependent on each other, known as life cycle. As axiomatic as it may sound, humans are involved in this cycle, so we might be in danger if particular species become extinct. By way of illustration, cockroaches and mosquitoes are hunted by lizzards. if we have loss of lizzards, the population of cockroaches will be on the increase. This, in turn, can have several adverse consequences. For example, cockroaches may eat seeds of farming products and humans confront lack of certain produce. On the other hand, a group of people opine there are a few more noticeable environmental problems. Global warming has become a significant setback more specifically in recent years. Today, more and more factories and power plants are established, emitting carbon dioxide and other hazardous gases, such as greenhouse gases into the air. These eventually lead to the depletion of ozone layer, which is a protective layer against the UV of the sun. As a result, this dangerous radiation might reach the surface of the earth, threatening the health of billions of individuals. Skin cancer is one of the risks of the UV radiation, according to Dr. Johnes from the University of California. What can be concluded from the above is that I believe there sure exist more noticeable environmental problems than extinction of certain species of creatures, including global warming, which can result in severe consequences in terms of health.
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In the present climate, environmental problems have sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There existare two perspectives regarding thosethese challenges. While one viewpoint claims that the extinction of certain species of flora and fauna is the most important problem, the other argues there are more notable challenges. The proponents of the preservation of animals and plants may provide several justifications. Firstly, it has been scientifically proven that the survival of all creatures areis dependent on each other, known as the life cycle. As axiomatic as it may sound, humans are involved in this cycle, so we might be in danger if particular species become extinct. By way of illustration, cockroaches and mosquitoes are hunted by lizzardslizards. ifIf we have a loss of lizzardslizards, the population of cockroaches will be on the increase. This, in turn, can have several adverse consequences. For example, cockroaches may eat the seeds of farming products and humans confrontface a lack of certain produce. On the other hand, a group of people opine that there are a few more noticeable environmental problems. Global warming has become a significant setback, more specifically in recent years. Today, more and more factories and power plants are being established, emitting carbon dioxide and other hazardous gases, such as greenhouse gases, into the air. These eventually lead to the depletion of the ozone layer, which is a protective layer against the UV rays of the sun. As a result, this dangerous radiation might reach the surface of the earth, threatening the health of billions of individuals. Skin cancer is one of the risks of the UV radiation, according to Dr. Johnes from the University of California. What can be concluded from the above is that I believe there suresurely exist more noticeable environmental problems than the extinction of certain species of creatures, including global warming, which can result in severe consequences in terms of health.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In the present climate, environmental problems have sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There exist two perspectives regarding those challenges. While one viewpoint claims that extinction of certain species of flora and fauna is the most important problem, the other argues there are more notable challenges.
In the current climate, environmental issues have sparked considerable debate. There are two predominant perspectives regarding these challenges. While some argue that species extinction represents the most critical problem, others maintain that more pressing environmental concerns exist.
The proponents of preservation of animals and plants may provide several justifications. Firstly, it has been scientifically proven that the survival of all creatures are dependent on each other, known as life cycle. As axiomatic as it may sound, humans are involved in this cycle, so we might be in danger if particular species become extinct. By way of illustration, cockroaches and mosquitoes are hunted by lizzards. if we have loss of lizzards, the population of cockroaches will be on the increase. This, in turn, can have several adverse consequences. For example, cockroaches may eat seeds of farming products and humans confront lack of certain produce.
Advocates for biodiversity preservation present compelling arguments. Scientifically, all organisms are interconnected through complex ecosystems. Humans, being part of these systems, face potential risks when species disappear. For instance, lizards naturally control cockroach and mosquito populations. Without lizards, these insect populations could surge, potentially damaging crops by consuming seeds and consequently reducing food supplies. This demonstrates how species extinction can trigger cascading ecological effects.
On the other hand, a group of people opine there are a few more noticeable environmental problems. Global warming has become a significant setback more specifically in recent years. Today, more and more factories and power plants are established, emitting carbon dioxide and other hazardous gases, such as greenhouse gases into the air. These eventually lead to the depletion of ozone layer, which is a protective layer against the UV of the sun. As a result, this dangerous radiation might reach the surface of the earth, threatening the health of billions of individuals. Skin cancer is one of the risks of the UV radiation, according to Dr. Johnes from the University of California.
Conversely, others emphasize more immediate environmental threats, particularly global warming. The rapid expansion of industrial facilities has significantly increased greenhouse gas emissions. These emissions contribute to ozone layer depletion, Earth's natural shield against harmful ultraviolet radiation. Increased UV exposure elevates health risks, including skin cancer, as noted by Dr. Jones from the University of California. This illustrates how atmospheric changes can directly impact human wellbeing on a massive scale.
What can be concluded from the above is that I believe there sure exist more noticeable environmental problems than extinction of certain species of creatures, including global warming, which can result in severe consequences in terms of health.
In conclusion, while species extinction presents serious ecological concerns, global warming and its associated health impacts constitute more urgent environmental challenges requiring immediate attention. The interconnected nature of environmental issues necessitates comprehensive solutions addressing multiple concerns simultaneously.
Band Score: 6.5

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
  • The arguments are developed with relevant examples (e.g., the food chain disruption due to lizard extinction, global warming’s impact on health).
  • However, some points could be more detailed. For instance, the discussion on global warming could include additional consequences beyond health risks (e.g., rising sea levels, extreme weather).
  • The conclusion is clear but could be slightly more nuanced by acknowledging that species loss is still significant, even if other issues are more pressing.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion).
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from species extinction to global warming feels abrupt—a linking sentence would help.
  • Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "lizzards" instead of "lizards," "if we have loss of lizzards" should be "if we lose lizards") slightly disrupt flow.

Lexical Resource

  • A good range of vocabulary is used (e.g., "flora and fauna," "depletion of ozone layer," "hazardous gases").
  • Some word choices could be more precise (e.g., "noticeable" might be better replaced with "urgent" or "critical").
  • Avoid repetition (e.g., "more noticeable" is used multiple times).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good.
  • There are some grammatical errors:
    • "if we have loss of lizzards" → "if lizards become extinct"
    • "humans confront lack of certain produce" → "humans may face shortages of certain crops"
    • "This dangerous radiation might reach the surface of the earth" → "This radiation can reach Earth’s surface"
  • Subject-verb agreement and article usage need attention (e.g., "life cycle" should be "the life cycle").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand Examples: Provide more varied consequences for both species loss and global warming (e.g., economic impacts, ecosystem collapse).
  2. Smoother Transitions: Use linking phrases like "In contrast," or "Furthermore," to improve flow.
  3. Proofreading: Carefully check for spelling and grammar errors (e.g., "lizzards" → "lizards").
  4. Nuanced Conclusion: Acknowledge that while global warming is more urgent, species loss is still a critical issue.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but refining grammar, transitions, and depth of examples would strengthen it further.

See more samples for this question