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Question:
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Response:
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Some individuals claim that authorities should enact policies to reduce the working week, and provide workers with the opportunity to have a longer weekend. I strongly agree with this standpoint for three main reasons, including rising job satisfaction, making families happier, and increasing life expectancy. Firstly, offering employees more days off can enhance their job satisfaction. While I concede that reducing the working weeks may have some financial problems for the nation, providing employees with a longer weekend can develop not only their performance but can also improve their productivity. These enhancements can bring a thriving economy for the nation. Secondly, giving workers a longer weekend, officials can provide the workforce with the opportunity to draw a line between their work and family responsibilities. It could be argued that declining the working week may pose some threats to countries' progress; however, I should assert that a wide range of workers do not possess an adequate amount of free time to dedicate to their family, making them unsatisfied. I believe that, families are the soul of any country, so if a country did not have satisfied residents, it would not be able to progress. Finally, I think that the most significant benefit of reducing the working week is increased life expectancy for workers. If employees have ample leisure time, they have the opportunity to do their preferred activities, such as practicing sports, reading books, and travelling. Many workers are deprived of doing their pastimes, as a large number of them are obligated to work most of the week, making them disappointed. In conclusion, some people argue that the working week should not be shorter, as it may lead to some problems for the nation. However, I agree with those who believe that officials should legislate laws to provide workers with a longer weekend, because not only does this trend hone job satisfaction, but this also increases life expectancy.
Marking your essay. This might take a few minutes.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Some individuals claim that authorities should enact policies to reduce the working week, and provide workers with the opportunity to have a longer weekend. I strongly agree with this standpoint for three main reasons, including rising job satisfaction, making families happier, and increasing life expectancy. Firstly, offering employees more days off can enhance their job satisfaction. While I concede that reducing the working weeksweek may have some financial problems for the nation, providing employees with a longer weekend can develop not only their performance but can also improve their productivity. These enhancements can bring a thriving economy for the nation. Secondly, giving workers a longer weekend, allows officials canto provide the workforce with the opportunity to draw a line between their work and family responsibilities. It could be argued that decliningreducing the working week may pose some threats to countries' progress; however, I should assert that a wide range of workers do not possess an adequate amount of free time to dedicate to their family, making them unsatisfied. I believe that, families are the soul of any country, so if a country diddoes not have satisfied residents, it would not be able to progress. Finally, I think that the most significant benefit of reducing the working week is increased life expectancy for workers. If employees have ample leisure time, they have the opportunity to do their preferred activities, such as practicingpractising sports, reading books, and travelling. Many workers are deprived of doing their pastimes, as a large number of them are obligated to work most of the week, making them disappointed. In conclusion, some people argue that the working week should not be shorter, as it may lead to some problems for the nation. However, I agree with those who believe that officials should legislate laws to provide workers with a longer weekend, because not only does this trend honeenhance job satisfaction, but thisit also increases life expectancy.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Some individuals claim that authorities should enact policies to reduce the working week, and provide workers with the opportunity to have a longer weekend. I strongly agree with this standpoint for three main reasons, including rising job satisfaction, making families happier, and increasing life expectancy. Firstly, offering employees more days off can enhance their job satisfaction. While I concede that reducing the working weeks may have some financial problems for the nation, providing employees with a longer weekend can develop not only their performance but can also improve their productivity. These enhancements can bring a thriving economy for the nation. Secondly, giving workers a longer weekend, officials can provide the workforce with the opportunity to draw a line between their work and family responsibilities. It could be argued that declining the working week may pose some threats to countries' progress; however, I should assert that a wide range of workers do not possess an adequate amount of free time to dedicate to their family, making them unsatisfied. I believe that, families are the soul of any country, so if a country did not have satisfied residents, it would not be able to progress. Finally, I think that the most significant benefit of reducing the working week is increased life expectancy for workers. If employees have ample leisure time, they have the opportunity to do their preferred activities, such as practicing sports, reading books, and travelling. Many workers are deprived of doing their pastimes, as a large number of them are obligated to work most of the week, making them disappointed. In conclusion, some people argue that the working week should not be shorter, as it may lead to some problems for the nation. However, I agree with those who believe that officials should legislate laws to provide workers with a longer weekend, because not only does this trend hone job satisfaction, but this also increases life expectancy.
The working week should be shorter, and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Some individuals claim that authorities should enact policies to reduce the working week and provide workers with the opportunity to enjoy a longer weekend. I strongly agree with this standpoint for three main reasons: rising job satisfaction, increased family happiness, and enhanced life expectancy. Firstly, offering employees more days off can significantly enhance their job satisfaction. While I concede that reducing the working week may pose some financial challenges for the nation, providing employees with a longer weekend can improve not only their performance but also their overall productivity. These enhancements can contribute to a thriving economy. Secondly, by giving workers a longer weekend, officials can help them establish a clearer boundary between their work and family responsibilities. It could be argued that reducing the working week may threaten a country's progress; however, I assert that many workers do not have an adequate amount of free time to dedicate to their families, leading to dissatisfaction. I believe that families are the backbone of any country, and if a nation does not have satisfied residents, it will struggle to progress. Finally, I think that the most significant benefit of reducing the working week is the potential for increased life expectancy among workers. If employees have ample leisure time, they can engage in activities they enjoy, such as practicing sports, reading, and traveling. Many workers are deprived of pursuing their hobbies, as a large number of them are obligated to work most of the week, which leads to disappointment and stress. In conclusion, while some people argue that the working week should not be shortened due to potential problems for the nation, I agree with those who believe that officials should legislate policies to provide workers with a longer weekend. This trend not only enhances job satisfaction but also contributes to increased life expectancy, ultimately benefiting society as a whole.
Band Score: 8

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Task Achievement

  • Strengths: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position in favor of a shorter working week and a longer weekend. The writer provides three main reasons to support this stance: increased job satisfaction, happier families, and longer life expectancy.
  • Areas for Improvement: While the essay presents a clear argument, it could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the claims. For instance, citing studies or statistics that demonstrate the benefits of a shorter workweek could enhance the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths: The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct reason supporting the main argument. Transitional phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" help guide the reader through the points.
  • Areas for Improvement: The essay could improve cohesion by linking ideas more fluidly within paragraphs. For example, the transition between discussing job satisfaction and economic benefits could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion could be more robust by summarizing the key points more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as "job satisfaction," "thriving economy," and "life expectancy." The use of varied language helps convey the argument effectively.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are a few instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, "hone job satisfaction" might be better expressed as "enhance job satisfaction." Additionally, some phrases, like "making them disappointed," could be rephrased for clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths: The essay generally uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds interest and complexity to the writing. The grammar is mostly accurate, with only minor errors.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are a few grammatical issues that need attention. For instance, "families are the soul of any country" could be rephrased for clarity, and "a wide range of workers do not possess an adequate amount of free time" could be simplified. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement, as seen in "a large number of them are obligated to work."

Overall, the essay presents a clear and well-structured argument in favor of a shorter working week. By incorporating more specific examples and refining language use, the response could be further strengthened.

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