Writing evaluation result for: In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the... - Balang

Question:

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Response:

There is a growing trend that residents are doing research into the history of their houses. In my opinion, this is due to a natural curiosity and practical concerns and the research can be done through official channels. The first reason for this is that individuals are able to link with the history by studying the past of their homes. This is analogous to researching one’s family genealogy: some descendants would like to research their ancestors to establish a connection with the past, which has some special sentimental values and can satisfy their innate curiosity. Another factor may be more pragmatic, related to historic construction methods. Older buildings may be constructed with unsafe techniques or materials that will degrade, creating the risk of structural damage and in the worst case, collapse. By learning about the house and the period when it was built, residents can take the necessary steps to ensure the house is structurally sound. The method for carrying out such research involves referring to local records. It is possible to go to the local library to search for information or collect relevant stories in the community. However, this type of information or stories may be unreliable, so choosing to contact the local authorities may be a better way. In most countries, the residents can submit a request to municipal offices, asking for the past history of the houses or buildings they live in and then wait to receive the required documents. In this way, residents can be assured of the most trustworthy information for them to understand the history of their home. In conclusion, many gather information concerning the history of their home to understand the past and guarantee their own safety. Relevant information can be accessed with the assistance of the local government.

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.

There is a growing trend that residents are doing research into researching the history of their houses. In my opinion, this is due to a natural curiosity and practical concerns, and the research can be done through official channels. The first reason for this is that individuals are able to linkconnect with the historypast by studying the pasthistory of their homes. This is analogous to researching one’s family genealogy: some descendants would like to research their ancestors to establish a connection with the past, which has some special sentimental valuesvalue and can satisfy their innate curiosity. Another factor may be more pragmatic, related to historic construction methods. Older buildings may behave been constructed with unsafe techniques or materials that will degrade, creating the risk of structural damage and, in the worst case, collapse. By learning about the house and the period when it was built, residents can take the necessary steps to ensure the house is structurally sound. The method for carrying out conducting such research involves referring to local records. It is possible to go to visit the local library to search for information or collect relevant stories in the community. However, this type of information or stories may be unreliable, so choosing to contact the local authorities may be a better wayoption. In most countries, the residents can submit a request to municipal offices, asking for the past history of the houses or buildings they live in and then wait to receive the required documents. In this way, residents can be assured of the most trustworthy information for them to understand the history of their home. In conclusion, many gather information concerningabout the history of their home to understand the past and guarantee their own safety. Relevant information can be accessed with the assistance of the local government.

This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.

There is a growing trend that residents are doing research into the history of their houses. In my opinion, this is due to a natural curiosity and practical concerns and the research can be done through official channels.

There is a growing trend of residents researching the history of their homes. In my opinion, this stems from both natural curiosity and practical concerns, and such research can be conducted through official channels.

The first reason for this is that individuals are able to link with the history by studying the past of their homes. This is analogous to researching one’s family genealogy: some descendants would like to research their ancestors to establish a connection with the past, which has some special sentimental values and can satisfy their innate curiosity. Another factor may be more pragmatic, related to historic construction methods. Older buildings may be constructed with unsafe techniques or materials that will degrade, creating the risk of structural damage and in the worst case, collapse. By learning about the house and the period when it was built, residents can take the necessary steps to ensure the house is structurally sound.

The primary reason for this trend is that individuals can connect with the past by studying their home's history. This is similar to researching one’s family genealogy: many people explore their ancestry to establish a meaningful link with previous generations, which holds sentimental value and satisfies innate curiosity. Another factor is more pragmatic, relating to historical construction methods. Older buildings may have been constructed using outdated or unsafe techniques, and materials may deteriorate over time, posing risks such as structural damage or even collapse. By understanding their home’s history and construction period, residents can take necessary measures to ensure its structural integrity.

The method for carrying out such research involves referring to local records. It is possible to go to the local library to search for information or collect relevant stories in the community. However, this type of information or stories may be unreliable, so choosing to contact the local authorities may be a better way. In most countries, the residents can submit a request to municipal offices, asking for the past history of the houses or buildings they live in and then wait to receive the required documents. In this way, residents can be assured of the most trustworthy information for them to understand the history of their home.

Conducting such research typically involves consulting local records. Residents may visit libraries or gather community stories, though these sources can be unreliable. A more dependable approach is to contact local authorities. In most countries, municipal offices provide access to historical property records upon request, ensuring residents receive accurate and trustworthy information about their homes.

In conclusion, many gather information concerning the history of their home to understand the past and guarantee their own safety. Relevant information can be accessed with the assistance of the local government.

In conclusion, many people research their home’s history to connect with the past and ensure safety. The most reliable information can be obtained through official government channels.

Band Score: 8

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt—explaining the reasons for people’s interest in their home’s history and suggesting methods for researching it. The response is well-developed, with clear explanations and relevant examples. However, the second reason (practical concerns about structural safety) could be expanded slightly to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows well, and cohesive devices (e.g., "The first reason," "Another factor," "In conclusion") help guide the reader. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother—for example, the shift from sentimental curiosity to structural concerns feels abrupt.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied (e.g., "innate curiosity," "pragmatic," "municipal offices"). However, there are minor instances where word choice could be more precise (e.g., "link with the history" could be "connect with the past"). Some phrases are slightly repetitive (e.g., "research" is used multiple times).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
Grammar is mostly accurate, with a mix of simple and complex structures. However, there are a few minor errors:

"Individuals are able to link with the history by studying the past of their homes" → "Individuals can connect with the past by studying their home’s history."
"This is analogous to researching one’s family genealogy: some descendants would like to research their ancestors..." → The colon should introduce a complete thought; consider rewording (e.g., "This is similar to researching family genealogy, as some descendants seek to learn about their ancestors...").

Suggestions for Improvement:

Expand on the second reason (structural concerns) with an example or further explanation.
Improve transitions between ideas for smoother flow.
Vary word choice to avoid repetition (e.g., replace "research" with "investigate," "explore").
Proofread for minor grammatical refinements.

Overall, this is a strong response that meets the task requirements effectively. With slight refinements in cohesion, vocabulary, and grammar, it could be even more polished.

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