This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Being able to benefit from good situations is a basic human right. Although some feel that it is better to accept a bad situation, I completely agree with those who believe that trying to make a positive change in such situations is far more beneficial.
On the one hand, it could be argued that sustaining an unsatisfactory job or poverty is preferable. Supporters to this view say that trying to improve bad situations can be totally risky. Individuals might be obligated to defence their improvements at the expense of their meaningful relationships with their colleagues especially their managers. Additionally, it is said to some people are not aware of the damaging effects of bad situations on their physical and mental well-being. For instance, the poor may have no concept about how restricted their facilities are as they are obligated to work hard all the time, limiting their free time to dedicate to raise their awareness.
On the other hand, I strongly believe that people would be able to achieve more accomplishments in better situations. Being surrounded by a challenging circumstance can decrease individuals' motivation, refusing to perform better. However, the more people are able to make constructive changes in their circumstances, the more they do manage to achieve groundbreaking achievements. Moreover, individuals can stay far healthier by avoiding conflicts and toxic atmosphere either mentally or physically. Take an unpleasant work place atmosphere as an example; when people have to argue with their co-workers or chairmen, depriving them from focusing on their personal growth.
To sum up, despite the fact that making change can be risky to some extent, I view that accepting bad situations such as poverty are far worse. So, trying to improve unpleasant situations is worth risking.
Here is the corrected version:
The ability to benefit from favorable circumstances is a fundamental human right. While some argue that accepting unfavorable situations is preferable, I strongly agree with those who believe that striving to improve difficult circumstances yields greater benefits.
On one hand, some maintain that enduring unsatisfactory employment or poverty may be advantageous. Proponents of this view argue that attempting to improve bad situations can be risky. Individuals might need to defend their improvements at the expense of important relationships with colleagues, particularly managers. Additionally, some people may not recognize the detrimental effects of adverse situations on their physical and mental health. For instance, those in poverty might not realize how limited their opportunities are, as they are compelled to work constantly, leaving little time to focus on personal development.
On the other hand, I firmly believe that people can achieve more in improved circumstances. Challenging environments can diminish motivation and hinder performance. However, when individuals make positive changes to their situations, they are more likely to accomplish significant achievements. Furthermore, people can maintain better health by avoiding conflicts and toxic environments, both mentally and physically. For example, in an unpleasant workplace atmosphere, constant arguments with coworkers or superiors can distract from personal growth.
In conclusion, although making changes involves some risk, I believe that accepting adverse situations like poverty is far more detrimental. Therefore, the effort to improve unfavorable circumstances is worth the risk.