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Question:
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Response:
There is an ongoing debate whether expert individuals are meant to be occupied within the country the studied in or people should have the right to choose where to operate in. While a group of folks advocate for working in the country that provided qualification, I firmly believe it is a basic human right to decide which location to serve in. On the one hand, several residents of different countries that are well-known to provide education for university students, namely Australia and Canada believe that it is considered unfair to serve another country after graduation while students' selected country to study in had provided them with countless benefits such as student loans, paid internship opportunities and state-of-the-art facilities. In addition, not only are different nations' universities run by different instructin methouds, but also their workforce apply different strategies for work. For instance, construction engineers graduated from Italy are trained to utilize concerete only for building process, whereas in United States labour will get fired to consume concerete only due to its high costs. On the other hand, a group of individuals are of the belief that the least that profeesionals who spent long time to dedicate to their studies can have is the freedom of choice when planing which location to operate in. Moreover, the more reluctant are people to work in a place, the lower their quality of operation will be. Additionally, not all the best course course-delivering nations demand specific qualifications. For example, Sweden has been recognized to deliver highest quality medical science program at universities, however, the high rate of wellness and physical health in Sweden simply demonstrates the low need for physicians. Whereas in third-world countries there is a high demand for this field and this is common factor when choosing a place to serve in. In conclusion, it is evident that some individuals agree with the idea of keeping graduates in their location of studying to avoid any misconduct relating to their service, however, I strongly state that people should own the right to decide where applying their expertise in can be more beneficial for the world.
Marking your essay. This might take a few minutes.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
There is an ongoing debate about whether expert individuals are meant to be occupied work within the country thethey studied in or people should have the right to choose where to operate inwork. While a group of folkspeople advocate for working in the country that provided qualificationtheir qualifications, I firmly believe it is a basic human right to decide which location to serve in. On the one hand, several residents of different countries that are well-known to providefor providing education for university students, namelysuch as Australia and Canada, believe that it is considered unfair to serve another country after graduation while the students' selectedchosen country to study in had provided them with countless benefits such as student loans, paid internship opportunities, and state-of-the-art facilities. In addition, not only aredo different nations' universities run by use different instructin methoudsteaching methods, but also their workforceworkforces also apply different strategies for work. For instance, construction engineers who graduated from Italy are trained to utilize concereteconcrete only for the building process, whereas in the United States, labour will workers would get fired to consume conceretefor using concrete only due to its high costs. On the other hand, a group of individuals are of the belief believe that the least that profeesionalsprofessionals who spent a long time to dedicatededicating themselves to their studies can have is the freedom of choice when planingplanning which location to operatework in. Moreover, the more reluctant people are people to work in a place, the lower their quality of operationwork will be. Additionally, not all the best course course-delivering nations demand specific qualifications. For example, Sweden has been recognized to deliverfor delivering the highest quality medical science programprograms at universities,; however, the high rate of wellness and physical health in Sweden simply demonstrates the low need for physicians. Whereas in third-world countries, there is a high demand for this field, and this is a common factor when choosing a place to serve in. In conclusion, it is evident that some individuals agree with the idea of keeping graduates in their location of studyingstudy to avoid any misconduct relating to their service,; however, I strongly statebelieve that people should ownhave the right to decide where applying their expertise in can be more beneficial for the world.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is an ongoing debate whether expert individuals are meant to be occupied within the country the studied in or people should have the right to choose where to operate in. While a group of folks advocate for working in the country that provided qualification, I firmly believe it is a basic human right to decide which location to serve in. On the one hand, several residents of different countries that are well-known to provide education for university students, namely Australia and Canada believe that it is considered unfair to serve another country after graduation while students' selected country to study in had provided them with countless benefits such as student loans, paid internship opportunities and state-of-the-art facilities. In addition, not only are different nations' universities run by different instructin methouds, but also their workforce apply different strategies for work. For instance, construction engineers graduated from Italy are trained to utilize concerete only for building process, whereas in United States labour will get fired to consume concerete only due to its high costs. On the other hand, a group of individuals are of the belief that the least that profeesionals who spent long time to dedicate to their studies can have is the freedom of choice when planing which location to operate in. Moreover, the more reluctant are people to work in a place, the lower their quality of operation will be. Additionally, not all the best course course-delivering nations demand specific qualifications. For example, Sweden has been recognized to deliver highest quality medical science program at universities, however, the high rate of wellness and physical health in Sweden simply demonstrates the low need for physicians. Whereas in third-world countries there is a high demand for this field and this is common factor when choosing a place to serve in. In conclusion, it is evident that some individuals agree with the idea of keeping graduates in their location of studying to avoid any misconduct relating to their service, however, I strongly state that people should own the right to decide where applying their expertise in can be more beneficial for the world.
Here is the corrected and improved version of your essay: --- There is an ongoing debate about whether skilled professionals should be required to work in the country where they studied or if individuals should have the freedom to choose where to practice. While some argue that graduates should remain in the country that provided their education, I firmly believe that the right to choose one's place of work is a fundamental human right. On the one hand, residents of countries known for providing high-quality education, such as Australia and Canada, argue that it is unfair for graduates to serve another nation after benefiting from resources like student loans, paid internships, and advanced facilities. Additionally, universities in different countries employ distinct teaching methods, and their workforces follow different operational strategies. For example, construction engineers trained in Italy are taught to use concrete extensively, while in the United States, relying solely on concrete may be discouraged due to its high cost. On the other hand, many believe that professionals who have dedicated years to their education should at least have the freedom to choose where to work. Furthermore, forcing individuals to work in undesired locations may reduce their productivity and job satisfaction. Additionally, not all countries with top-tier educational programs have a high demand for every profession. For instance, Sweden is renowned for its exceptional medical science programs, yet its high standard of healthcare results in a low demand for physicians. In contrast, many developing nations face severe shortages of medical professionals, making them more attractive workplaces for graduates seeking meaningful impact. In conclusion, while some advocate for retaining graduates in their country of study to ensure a return on educational investments, I strongly believe that individuals should have the right to choose where to apply their expertise, as this benefits both their personal fulfillment and global needs. --- This version improves clarity, grammar, and coherence while maintaining your original argument.
Band Score: 6.5

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Content & Relevance: Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, some points lack depth and clarity. For example, the argument about Italy and the U.S. using different construction methods is not fully developed or clearly linked to the main argument.
  • Examples & Support: Some examples (e.g., Sweden’s medical programs and third-world demand for doctors) are relevant but could be more detailed or better explained to strengthen your argument.
  • Position Clarity: Your stance is clear, but the reasoning could be more persuasive. The conclusion restates your opinion but does not summarize key points effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

  • Logical Flow: The essay has a logical structure, but some ideas are not smoothly connected. For instance, the transition between the Italy-U.S. example and the next paragraph is abrupt.
  • Linking Words: Some transitions are missing or awkward (e.g., "Moreover, the more reluctant are people to work in a place, the lower their quality of operation will be" could be rephrased for clarity).
  • Paragraphing: Each paragraph has a central idea, but some sentences within them are disjointed or overly complex.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary Range: You use a variety of words, but some are misused or awkward (e.g., "methouds" instead of "methods," "concerete" instead of "concrete," "course course-delivering nations").
  • Word Choice & Accuracy: Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "the least that professionals who spent long time to dedicate to their studies can have is the freedom of choice"). Simplify for clarity.
  • Spelling & Typos: There are several spelling errors (e.g., "profeesionals," "instructin methouds," "concerete"). Proofreading is essential.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: Some sentences are overly complex or grammatically incorrect (e.g., "not only are different nations' universities run by different instructin methouds, but also their workforce apply different strategies for work").
  • Grammar Errors: Subject-verb agreement issues ("labour will get fired to consume concerete only due to its high costs"), incorrect prepositions ("when planing which location to operate in"), and awkward phrasing ("the more reluctant are people to work in a place").
  • Punctuation: Some missing commas and incorrect capitalization (e.g., "United States" should be "the United States").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Arguments: Ensure each point is well-explained and directly supports your thesis.
  2. Improve Transitions: Use smoother linking words and logical flow between ideas.
  3. Simplify Sentences: Avoid overly complex phrasing; aim for clarity.
  4. Proofread Carefully: Correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.
  5. Strengthen Examples: Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support claims.

Overall, your essay has a good structure and addresses the prompt, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and coherence will significantly improve its quality. Keep practicing!

See more samples for this question