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Question:
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Response:
In the present climate, accommodation has become a significant matter among citizens. Most of them prefer to become landlords rather than rent a home because of some reasons such as shortage of accommodation and social issues also it may bring some positive aspects for them. Shortage of affordable housing is one of the reasons that the majority of people tend to buy a home of their own. Discovering a suitable place with fully fitted is a challenging issue, tenants have to rent a home for a short time and throw away a great deal of money in it. As a result, one will decide to take out mortgages to purchase their favorite home or even an old accommodation and remodel it of their interest. moreover, the inflation rate is increasing day by day which has a direct connection to the cost of housing. It means that there is not a strict balance between income and an individual’s expenditure therefore it may be difficult to pay rent. On the other hand, freeholder has several positive effects both materially and mentally. Purchasing a place is the best way to invest. If society invests their money in accommodations, they can guarantee their retirement and put them as heritages for their children. Moving from one place to another place is stressful and leaseholders tolerate it. Therefore, having a home of their own not only can reduce this tension and anxiety but also can experience a healthy life without any problems with housing and let them focus on solving other problems in their life. To sum up, these days most societies have been conscious of investing their wealth to buy a place to reside there as finding affordable housing has become challenging and the cost of houses is rising these days also it can cause some positive pluses such as mental health as well as allow them to save money.
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In the present climate, accommodation has become a significant matter among citizens. Most of them prefer to become landlords rather than rent a home because of some reasons such as a shortage of accommodation and social issues, also and it may also bring some positive aspects for them. Shortage The shortage of affordable housing is one of the reasons that the majority of people tend to buy a home of their own. Discovering a suitable place withthat is fully fitted is a challenging issue,; tenants have to rent a home for a short time and throw away spend a great deal of money inon it. As a result, one will decide to take out mortgagesa mortgage to purchase their favorite home or even an old accommodation and remodel it ofto their interest. moreoverMoreover, the inflation rate is increasing day by day, which has a direct connection to the cost of housing. It means that there is not a strict balance between income and an individual’s expenditure, therefore it may be difficult to pay rent. On the other hand, being a freeholder has several positive effects, both materially and mentally. Purchasing a place is the best way to invest. If society investspeople invest their money in accommodations, they can guaranteesecure their retirement and putleave them as heritages for their children. Moving from one place to another place is stressful, and leaseholders tolerateendure it. Therefore, having a home of their own not only can reduce this tension and anxiety but also canallows them to experience a healthy life without any housing problems with housing and letlets them focus on solving other problemsissues in their life. To sum up, these days most societiespeople have beenbecome conscious of investing their wealth to buy a place to reside therein, as finding affordable housing has become challenging and the cost of houses is rising. these days It can also it can cause bring some positive plusesbenefits such as improved mental health as well as allowallowing them to save money.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In the present climate, accommodation has become a significant matter among citizens. Most of them prefer to become landlords rather than rent a home because of some reasons such as shortage of accommodation and social issues also it may bring some positive aspects for them.
In the current climate, housing has become a significant concern for many citizens. Most people prefer to own property rather than rent due to several factors, including housing shortages and social issues, while also recognizing the potential benefits of homeownership.
Shortage of affordable housing is one of the reasons that the majority of people tend to buy a home of their own. Discovering a suitable place with fully fitted is a challenging issue, tenants have to rent a home for a short time and throw away a great deal of money in it. As a result, one will decide to take out mortgages to purchase their favorite home or even an old accommodation and remodel it of their interest. moreover, the inflation rate is increasing day by day which has a direct connection to the cost of housing. It means that there is not a strict balance between income and an individual’s expenditure therefore it may be difficult to pay rent.
The shortage of affordable housing is a primary reason why many choose to purchase homes. Finding suitable, fully-equipped accommodations is challenging, forcing tenants to spend considerable amounts on temporary rentals. Consequently, many opt for mortgages to buy their preferred property, sometimes renovating older homes to suit their needs. Furthermore, rising inflation directly impacts housing costs, creating an imbalance between income and living expenses that makes renting increasingly difficult.
On the other hand, freeholder has several positive effects both materially and mentally. Purchasing a place is the best way to invest. If society invests their money in accommodations, they can guarantee their retirement and put them as heritages for their children. Moving from one place to another place is stressful and leaseholders tolerate it. Therefore, having a home of their own not only can reduce this tension and anxiety but also can experience a healthy life without any problems with housing and let them focus on solving other problems in their life.
Homeownership offers numerous advantages, both financial and psychological. Property represents a sound investment, serving as retirement security and potential inheritance. The instability of frequent moves creates stress for renters, whereas owning a home reduces anxiety and promotes mental wellbeing. This stability allows homeowners to focus on other life priorities without housing-related concerns.
To sum up, these days most societies have been conscious of investing their wealth to buy a place to reside there as finding affordable housing has become challenging and the cost of houses is rising these days also it can cause some positive pluses such as mental health as well as allow them to save money.
In conclusion, growing awareness of these challenges and benefits has led more people to invest in property. With rising housing costs and limited affordable options, homeownership provides both financial security and improved quality of life.
Band Score: 6

Feedback on the Essay:

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why people prefer owning a home over renting and evaluating whether this is a positive or negative trend. However, the response could be more balanced by acknowledging potential drawbacks of homeownership (e.g., financial strain, lack of flexibility). The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could better summarize the key points.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas are abrupt (e.g., "moreover" is incorrectly placed and lacks a clear link to the previous point). Paragraphing is generally appropriate, but the second paragraph could be split for clarity. Some sentences are overly long and complex, which affects readability.

Lexical Resource:
There is a good range of vocabulary (e.g., "freeholder," "leaseholders," "heritages"), but some word choices are awkward or inaccurate (e.g., "throw away money" should be "spend a great deal of money"; "positive pluses" is redundant). Repetition of phrases like "these days" and "affordable housing" could be avoided with synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The essay contains several grammatical errors:

  • Subject-verb agreement: "tenants has to rent" should be "tenants have to rent."
  • Article misuse: "an individual’s expenditure" should be "an individual’s expenditures."
  • Punctuation: "moreover" should be preceded by a semicolon or start a new sentence.
  • Tense inconsistency: "societies have been conscious of investing" could be "societies are increasingly conscious."
  • Sentence structure: Some sentences are fragmented or run-on (e.g., "let them focus on solving other problems in their life" lacks a clear subject).

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Balance the argument: Discuss potential negatives of homeownership (e.g., debt, maintenance costs) to strengthen task achievement.
  2. Improve transitions: Use clearer linking words (e.g., "Furthermore," "However") to guide the reader.
  3. Simplify complex sentences: Break long sentences into shorter, clearer ones.
  4. Proofread for grammar: Review subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.
  5. Expand vocabulary: Replace repetitive phrases with synonyms (e.g., "rising costs" instead of "cost of houses is rising").

Overall, the essay addresses the prompt but would benefit from clearer expression, tighter grammar, and a more nuanced discussion of positives and negatives.

See more samples for this question