Writing evaluation result for: In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the... - Balang

Question:

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Response:

In this day and ages, many people are curious about the history of the building they live in. their accommodation. One pivotal factor that makes people interested in searching about the background of the place they live can be safety concerns. Since the majority of people, specially in urban areas, live in modern apartment they want to be aware of the structure they live in. for example, some buildings are belt based on strike safety regulation. These buildings are more resistant against national disasters including, earthquake and tornadoes, making them a reliable place to live. Furthermore, with regard to older buildings people often are eager to now about some issues such as how old the building is or how many people lived there before. In this case, searching about the history of the building generally holds sentimental values, helping the current inhabitant to make emotional connection to the place. In order to gain information about the history of the building there can be several ways. First of all regarding modern building people have access to the constructors so they can ask whatever they need to no directly or they can ask an expert in the field to visit their house to whether safety rules are followed or not. And for older building, people who are interested in knowing about history can ask any question from neighbors or if the building is historical they can refer to city council for further information. In conclusion, peoples’ curiosity about the background of the building they live in can be stem from consequence of factors, including safety and emotional issues. In order to address this multifaceted issue people can receive information from builders, neighbors, and city council.

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.

In this day and agesage, many people are curious about the history of the building they live in., their accommodation. One pivotal factor that makes people interested in searching aboutfor the background of the place they live can be safety concerns. Since the majority of people, speciallyespecially in urban areas, live in modern apartmentapartments, they want to be aware of the structure they live in. forFor example, some buildings are beltbuilt based on strikestrict safety regulationregulations. These buildings are more resistant against nationalto natural disasters, including, earthquake earthquakes and tornadoes, making them a reliable place to live. Furthermore, with regard to older buildings, people are often are eager to nowknow about some issues such as how old the building is or how many people lived there before. In this case, searching aboutfor the history of the building generally holds sentimental valuesvalue, helping the current inhabitantinhabitants to make an emotional connection to the place. In order to gain information about the history of the building, there can be several ways. First of all, regarding modern buildingbuildings, people have access to the constructors, so they can ask whatever they need to noknow directly, or they can ask an expert in the field to visit their house to see whether safety rules are followed or not. And for older buildingbuildings, people who are interested in knowing about history can ask any questionquestions from neighbors, or if the building is historical, they can refer to the city council for further information. In conclusion, peoplespeople’s curiosity about the background of the building they live in can be stem from consequencea combination of factors, including safety and emotional issues. In order to address this multifaceted issue, people can receive information from builders, neighbors, and the city council.

This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.

In this day and ages, many people are curious about the history of the building they live in. their accommodation.

In this day and age, many people are curious about the history of the buildings they live in.

One pivotal factor that makes people interested in searching about the background of the place they live can be safety concerns. Since the majority of people, specially in urban areas, live in modern apartment they want to be aware of the structure they live in. for example, some buildings are belt based on strike safety regulation. These buildings are more resistant against national disasters including, earthquake and tornadoes, making them a reliable place to live. Furthermore, with regard to older buildings people often are eager to now about some issues such as how old the building is or how many people lived there before. In this case, searching about the history of the building generally holds sentimental values, helping the current inhabitant to make emotional connection to the place.

One pivotal factor that makes people interested in researching the background of their accommodation is safety concerns. Since the majority of people, especially in urban areas, live in modern apartments, they want to be aware of the structural integrity of their residence. For example, some buildings are built according to strict safety regulations, making them more resistant to natural disasters such as earthquakes and tornadoes, thereby ensuring reliability. Furthermore, regarding older buildings, people are often eager to learn about details such as the building’s age or previous occupants. In such cases, researching the building’s history often holds sentimental value, helping current inhabitants form an emotional connection to the place.

In order to gain information about the history of the building there can be several ways. First of all regarding modern building people have access to the constructors so they can ask whatever they need to no directly or they can ask an expert in the field to visit their house to whether safety rules are followed or not. And for older building, people who are interested in knowing about history can ask any question from neighbors or if the building is historical they can refer to city council for further information.

There are several ways to gather information about a building’s history. For modern buildings, residents can consult the constructors directly or hire an expert to inspect whether safety standards were followed. For older buildings, those interested in their history can inquire with neighbors or, if the building is historically significant, contact the city council for further details.

In conclusion, peoples’ curiosity about the background of the building they live in can be stem from consequence of factors, including safety and emotional issues. In order to address this multifaceted issue people can receive information from builders, neighbors, and city council.

In conclusion, people’s curiosity about their building’s background stems from multiple factors, including safety and emotional considerations. To address this, individuals can seek information from builders, neighbors, or local authorities.

Band Score: 5.5

Feedback on the Essay:

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the question (reasons and research methods) but could improve in clarity and depth.
Some ideas are underdeveloped, such as the emotional connection to older buildings, which could be expanded with examples.
The safety argument is relevant but could be strengthened with more precise examples (e.g., earthquake-prone regions).
The conclusion summarizes the points but could be more concise and impactful.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a logical structure but suffers from awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which disrupt flow.
Some sentences are unclear or redundant (e.g., "their accommodation" is unnecessary after "the building they live in").
Transition words are used, but more variety and smoother connections between ideas would improve readability.
Paragraphing is appropriate, but topic sentences could be clearer.

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are errors in word choice (e.g., "belt" instead of "built," "now" instead of "know").
Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "holds sentimental values" → "has sentimental value").
Repetition occurs (e.g., "people who are interested in knowing about history" could be reworded).
More precise and varied vocabulary would enhance the response.

Grammar and Accuracy

Several grammatical errors affect clarity (e.g., "In this day and ages" → "Nowadays," "national disasters" → "natural disasters").
Subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "peoples’ curiosity... can be stem from" → "can stem from").
Articles are missing or misused (e.g., "the constructors" → "the builders").
Sentence structure is sometimes awkward (e.g., "making them a reliable place to live" could be rephrased for smoother flow).

Suggestions for Improvement

Clarify and Expand Ideas – Provide more specific examples (e.g., how safety regulations differ in earthquake-prone areas).
Improve Grammar and Word Choice – Proofread carefully to correct errors and refine phrasing.
Enhance Cohesion – Use more varied linking words and ensure smoother transitions between sentences.
Strengthen Conclusion – Make it more concise and impactful by summarizing key points without repetition.

Overall, the essay responds to the task but would benefit from clearer expression, better grammar, and more developed ideas.

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