Question:
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Response:
Curriculum content is a source of debate among those attending university. Some students advocate for extra modules, in addition to their main subject. While others take an opposing view toward this argument, suggesting that study schedules should be confined to specific syllabi. However, a well-rounded education is a combination of both and I subscribe to the notion, which indicates that a balanced program will prepare attendees thoroughly based on their goals and expectations. On one hand, every student has different goals to achieve which should be highlighted before choosing a career. Some degrees suggest a wide range of studies, such as bachelor degrees, which gives participants a broad perspective toward their tertiary education. In this context, it is of the essence for this level of education to foster knowledge-seekers general know-how about the science regarding their degrees. For example, a Bachelor of Science (BS) and Art (BA), are among courses that aim to teach attendants a variety of topics, including principles of engineering and trading respectively. Therefore, introducing extracurricular sobjects would be constructive and beneficial for students at this stage, especially for overachiever ones. On the flip side, in terms of higher education like Master of Science (MC) and Doctor of Philosophy (PhD), which are precisely and meticulously designed for specific subject areas, additional subjects would be absurd and unnecessary, because this type of advanced degrees are associated with one particular dissertation, requiring students to allocate a great deal of attention and time in order to make progress in that special area of science. As a result, the less student devote their time and energy to other supplementary subjects, the less they waste their effort. For example, when it comes to finish the Master's and PhD degrees, experts are obliged to spend at least one year completing their research and manage their final dissertation, ending up defending their thesis which can be challenging and rigorous. In conclusion, as discussed above, every stage of education is defined to convey certain level of knowledge to students, depending on the course, overall and accurate materials are prepared for bachelor and Master degrees programs. However, it is common to see during the former category (BC), extra curricular studies are arranged in addition to major career whereas the latter one (MC) is confined and restricted to one specific area of science.
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Curriculum content is a source of debate among those attending university. Some students advocate for extra modules, in addition to their main subject. While, while others take an opposing view toward this argument, suggesting that study schedules should be confined to specific syllabi. However, a well-rounded education is a combination of both, and I subscribe to the notion, which indicates that a balanced program will prepare attendees thoroughly based on their goals and expectations. On one hand, every student has different goals to achieve, which should be highlighted before choosing a career. Some degrees suggest a wide range of studies, such as bachelor's degrees, which givesgive participants a broad perspective towardon their tertiary education. In this context, it is of the essence essential for this level of education to foster knowledge-seekers' general know-how about the science regarding their degrees. For example, a Bachelor of Science (BS) and ArtBachelor of Arts (BA), are among courses that aim to teach attendantsattendees a variety of topics, including principles of engineering and trading, respectively. Therefore, introducing extracurricular sobjectssubjects would be constructive and beneficial for students at this stage, especially for overachieveroverachieving ones. On the flip side, in terms of higher education like Master of Science (MCMSc) and Doctor of Philosophy (PhD), which are precisely and meticulously designed for specific subject areas, additional subjects would be absurd and unnecessary, because this type of advanced degrees aredegree is associated with one particular dissertation, requiring students to allocate a great deal of attention and time in order to make progress in that special area of science. As a result, the less studentstudents devote their time and energy to other supplementary subjects, the less they waste their effort. For example, when it comes to finishfinishing the Master's and PhD degrees, experts are obliged to spend at least one year completing their research and managemanaging their final dissertation, ending up defending their thesis, which can be challenging and rigorous. In conclusion, as discussed above, every stage of education is defined to convey a certain level of knowledge to students, depending on the course, overall. Overall and accurate materials are prepared for bachelor's and Master's degrees degree programs. However, it is common to see during the former category (BCBA), extra curricular that extracurricular studies are arranged in addition to the major career, whereas the latter one (MCMSc) is confined and restricted to one specific area of science.
Band Score: 6.5

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Task Achievement

  • Strengths: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects. It provides a clear opinion that a balanced program is beneficial.
  • Areas for Improvement: While the essay presents a clear stance, it could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support the argument for a balanced program. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Strengths: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Transitional phrases like "On one hand" and "On the flip side" help guide the reader through the argument.
  • Areas for Improvement: Some sentences could be more concise to improve readability. For instance, the sentence structure in the second paragraph is somewhat complex and could be simplified for clarity. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

  • Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as "curriculum content," "extracurricular subjects," and "dissertation." The use of academic terms is appropriate for the context.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are a few minor spelling errors, such as "sobjects" instead of "subjects." Additionally, some phrases, like "knowledge-seekers general know-how," could be rephrased for clarity and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Strengths: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, which demonstrates grammatical range.
  • Areas for Improvement: There are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as "the less student devote" which should be "the less students devote." Attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage would enhance grammatical accuracy.

Overall Impression

The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and presents a clear opinion. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples, enhancing coherence within paragraphs, and addressing minor grammatical and lexical errors. This will help in delivering a more polished and persuasive response.