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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
There is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that nowadays these commercials no longer have theiran impact on individuals, others advocate for the significant effects of advertisementadvertisements. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people. On the one hand, it is undeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisementadvertisements that they watchedwatch. The scienceexpertise of expertsthose who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising. Most of them are industrial psychologists who studiedstudy human behavioursbehaviour and the techniques of persuading peoplepersuasion. In this way, they know the exact colorscolours and words to attract customers, and even their needs are obvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to many online platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, which make it easy tofor advertising agencyagencies to draw in different groups of customers. On the other hand, despite the above arguments, other group others argue that because of the public awareness of these commercialcommercials's facts tactics, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice that advertisements aredo not always show the truth ofabout the products,; they are actually some often use special effects, for example, thein fast-food restaurants, their foodwhere the advertised images of their food are not often quiet quite the same as the reality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, these advertisements have become fartoo normal for viewers, so they prefer to skip them instead of watching them or purchasing the premium version to avoid advertising. In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising still has itsthe power to attract customers or not. Although some believe that people are aware that advertisements sometimes hide the truth, and therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods are used onin advertising meet the market demands. lassertI assert that commercial advertising has the most vital impact on the humans.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that nowadays these commercials no longer have their impact on individuals, others advocate for the significant effects of advertisement. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people.
There is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that commercials no longer significantly influence individuals, others maintain that advertising remains highly impactful. In my view, advertisements continue to employ effective strategies to shape consumer behavior.
On the one hand, it is undeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisement that they watched. The science of experts who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising. Most of them are industrial psychologists who studied human behaviours and the techniques of persuading people. In this way, they know the exact colors and words to attract customers, and even their needs are obvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to many online platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, which make it easy to advertising agency to draw different groups of customers.
On the one hand, advertisements undeniably drive consumer purchases. Expertly crafted by industrial psychologists who understand human behavior and persuasion techniques, advertisements utilize precise colors, language, and psychological triggers to attract customers. Furthermore, technological advancements have expanded advertising reach through platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, enabling agencies to target diverse consumer groups effectively.
On the other hand, despite the above arguments, other group argue that because of the public awareness of these commercial's facts, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice that advertisements are not always show the truth of the products, they are actually some special effects, for example, the fast-food restaurants, their food advertised images are not often quiet the same as the reality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, these advertisements have become far normal for viewers, so they prefer to skip instead of watching them or purchasing the premium version to avoid advertising.
On the other hand, critics argue that increased public awareness diminishes advertising's influence. Consumers now recognize that advertisements often exaggerate or misrepresent products, such as the disparity between advertised fast-food images and actual products. Additionally, advertising saturation has led many viewers to ignore commercials or pay for ad-free services, reducing their exposure.
In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising still has its power to attract customers or not. Although some believe that people are aware that advertisements sometimes hide the truth, therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods are used on advertising meet the market demands. lassert that commercial advertising has the most vital impact on the humans.
In conclusion, opinions differ regarding advertising's current effectiveness. While some believe consumer skepticism and avoidance weaken its impact, others emphasize advertisers' evolving strategies to meet market demands. I contend that advertising retains significant influence over consumer decisions.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, the response could be more balanced in discussing the opposing view. The second viewpoint (that ads are ignored) is somewhat underdeveloped compared to the first.
  • Some arguments lack depth. For example, the claim that people skip ads or buy premium versions to avoid them could be expanded with more concrete examples or statistics.
  • The conclusion restates the opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion). However, transitions between ideas could be smoother.
  • Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less natural (e.g., "The science of experts who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising" could be reworded for clarity).
  • Repetition occurs in places (e.g., "advertising" is overused; synonyms like "commercials" or "marketing" could help).

Lexical Resource

  • The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but some word choices are unnatural or incorrect (e.g., "their needs are obvious to them" is unclear; "not often quiet the same" should be "quite the same").
  • Some phrases are informal (e.g., "far normal" should be "so common").
  • More varied and precise vocabulary would strengthen the essay (e.g., instead of "methods are used on advertising," say "techniques employed in advertising").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors:
    • Subject-verb agreement issues ("other group argue" → "other groups argue").
    • Incorrect word forms ("advertising agency" should be "advertising agencies").
    • Missing articles ("the public awareness" → "public awareness").
    • Unnatural phrasing ("lassert that commercial advertising" → "I assert that").
  • Sentence structures are sometimes repetitive (e.g., frequent use of "On the one hand... On the other hand"). More complex structures (e.g., conditionals, passive voice) would improve variety.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Balance the discussion – Give equal weight to both perspectives before stating your opinion.
  2. Clarify and refine arguments – Avoid vague statements; use specific examples (e.g., which brands use misleading ads?).
  3. Improve grammar and word choice – Proofread for errors and use more natural phrasing.
  4. Enhance cohesion – Use linking words ("Furthermore," "Conversely," "As a result") to improve flow.

Overall, the essay presents a clear position but would benefit from more precise language, better-supported arguments, and stronger grammatical accuracy.