Writing evaluation result for: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all... - Balang

Question:

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Response:

In contemporary society, consumers in some countries have access to food produced all over the world by visiting supermarkets. I contend that this is a positive development due to some reasons that I will mention in this essay. To begin with, one reason that having access to food produced globally is a positive development is that it can decrease the price of certain products. When governments export their goods to other countries, it increases the diversity of food available among countries, leading to competition among producers. This competition not only drives down prices of products but also encourages producers to improve the quality of their products. Moreover, another positive aspect is that if consumers are able to buy an array of food products, they will be more likely to become familiar with culture of other nations, consumers may encounter foods from different countries, prompting them to research these items through the internet for more information. Since the cuisine of various countries often reflects their traditions and heritage, this research can enhance their understanding of different cultures. For example, spaghetti, which originate from Italy, is now found all over the world, and encouraging consumers to learn more about its history and cultural significance. In conclusion, the ability to buy food produced all over the world is a positive development due to its potential to provide consumers with affordable options and to foster an appreciation for diverse customs. This exposure not only leads to the discovery of new cuisines but also enhances a sense of belonging and cultural understanding.

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In contemporary society, consumers in some countries have access to food produced all over the world by visiting supermarkets. I contend that this is a positive development due to someseveral reasons that I will mention in this essay. To begin with, one reason that having access to food produced globally is a positive development is that it can decrease the price of certain products. When governments export their goods to other countries, it increases the diversity of food available among countries, leading to competition among producers. This competition not only drives down prices of products but also encourages producers to improve the quality of their productsofferings. Moreover, another positive aspect is that if consumers are able to buy an array of food products, they will be more likely to become familiar with the culture of other nations,; consumers may encounter foods from different countries, prompting them to research these items through the internet for more information. Since the cuisine of various countries often reflects their traditions and heritage, this research can enhance their understanding of different cultures. For example, spaghetti, which originateoriginates from Italy, is now found all over the world, and encouraging consumers to learn more about its history and cultural significance. In conclusion, the ability to buy food produced all over the world is a positive development due to its potential to provide consumers with affordable options and to foster an appreciation for diverse customs. This exposure not only leads to the discovery of new cuisines but also enhances a sense of belonging and cultural understanding.

This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.

In contemporary society, consumers in some countries have access to food produced all over the world by visiting supermarkets. I contend that this is a positive development due to some reasons that I will mention in this essay.

In contemporary society, consumers in many countries have access to food produced all over the world by visiting supermarkets. I contend that this is a positive development for several reasons, which I will discuss in this essay.

To begin with, one reason that having access to food produced globally is a positive development is that it can decrease the price of certain products. When governments export their goods to other countries, it increases the diversity of food available among countries, leading to competition among producers. This competition not only drives down prices of products but also encourages producers to improve the quality of their products.

To begin with, one reason that having access to globally produced food is a positive development is that it can decrease the prices of certain products. When countries export their goods, it increases the diversity of food available, leading to competition among producers. This competition not only drives down prices but also encourages producers to improve the quality of their products.

Moreover, another positive aspect is that if consumers are able to buy an array of food products, they will be more likely to become familiar with culture of other nations, consumers may encounter foods from different countries, prompting them to research these items through the internet for more information. Since the cuisine of various countries often reflects their traditions and heritage, this research can enhance their understanding of different cultures. For example, spaghetti, which originate from Italy, is now found all over the world, and encouraging consumers to learn more about its history and cultural significance.

Moreover, another positive aspect is that when consumers can buy a wide array of food products, they are more likely to become familiar with the cultures of other nations. Consumers may encounter foods from different countries, prompting them to research these items online for more information. Since the cuisine of various countries often reflects their traditions and heritage, this research can enhance their understanding of different cultures. For example, spaghetti, which originates from Italy, is now found all over the world, encouraging consumers to learn more about its history and cultural significance.

In conclusion, the ability to buy food produced all over the world is a positive development due to its potential to provide consumers with affordable options and to foster an appreciation for diverse customs. This exposure not only leads to the discovery of new cuisines but also enhances a sense of belonging and cultural understanding.

In conclusion, the ability to purchase food produced globally is a positive development due to its potential to provide consumers with affordable options and foster an appreciation for diverse customs. This exposure not only leads to the discovery of new cuisines but also enhances a sense of belonging and cultural understanding.

Band Score: 8

Feedback

Task Achievement

Strengths: The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the positive aspects of having access to globally produced food in supermarkets. It provides clear reasons and examples to support the argument.
Areas for Improvement: While the essay presents a clear stance, it could benefit from acknowledging potential counterarguments or negative aspects of this development to provide a more balanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion

Strengths: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph logically follows the previous one, and the use of linking words like "To begin with" and "Moreover" helps in maintaining coherence.
Areas for Improvement: The transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the connection between the economic benefits and cultural understanding could be more explicitly linked to enhance cohesion.

Lexical Resource

Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as "diversity," "competition," "heritage," and "significance." The language used is appropriate for the topic.
Areas for Improvement: There are minor errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "become familiar with culture of other nations," which should be "become familiar with the cultures of other nations." Paying attention to such details can improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Strengths: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, which enhances the readability and demonstrates grammatical range.
Areas for Improvement: There are a few grammatical errors, such as missing articles ("the" before "culture" in "culture of other nations") and awkward phrasing ("encouraging consumers to learn more about its history" should be "encourages consumers to learn more about its history"). Proofreading for such errors can improve accuracy.

Overall Impression

The essay effectively argues that the availability of globally produced food in supermarkets is a positive development. It is well-structured and presents clear arguments supported by examples. To enhance the essay, consider addressing potential drawbacks of this development and refining language use for greater precision and clarity.

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