Question: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. W...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In some countries, it is crucial to purchase a home rather than rent one. This is because buying a home in some countries is a sign of success and is a long-term financial investment. I contend this is a positive situation due to some compelling reasons that I will mention in this essay. To begin with, there are several reasons why being a homeowner is important in some nations. First of all, it can be a long-term financial investment and provide potential profits for people. That is to say, if people live in their own house, they will not pay annual rent, leading to financial security for them, especially when the property value increases. For example, some people purchase a house, and if it becomes more valuable, they can sell it and make a profit, resulting in a sense of success and belonging. Secondly, homeowners can modify their living spaces; they can redesign or rebuildrenovate them, which is often restricted in rental properties. Moreover, I believe that trying to live as a homeowner can bring a positive circumstancesituation. This is because it will help people strive more in their lives. In other words, the more people try to buy a home, the more they attempt to work for earningto earn money, making them improve their productivity and efficiency. For instance, if people prioritize purchasing a house, they will definitely attempt to save more money and tighten their belts, leading to increased resilience and capability. In conclusion, in some countries, it is very essential for people to be homeowners rather than renting. Owing to the potential benefits for residents. In addition, I firmly believe that this is a useful conditionsituation because it will make citizens have more endeavourmotivated, which provides them with a sense of satisfaction.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing why homeownership is important in some countries and presenting a clear stance (positive) on the situation.
  • The response provides relevant examples (property value increase, financial security, personalization of living spaces) to support the arguments.
  • However, the conclusion could be more developed. While it restates the position, it does not summarize the key points as strongly as it could.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion).
  • Cohesive devices (e.g., "To begin with," "Moreover," "In conclusion") help guide the reader.
  • Some sentences could be more smoothly connected. For example, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be improved for better flow.

Lexical Resource

  • The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with some good word choices (e.g., "financial investment," "resilience and capability," "tighten their belts").
  • There are minor inaccuracies (e.g., "a useful condition" could be rephrased as "a beneficial situation").
  • Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "strive more in their lives" and "have more endeavour" could be varied for better lexical range).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • The grammar is mostly accurate, but there are some errors:
    • "This is because buying a home in some countries is a sign of success and is a long-term financial investment." (The second "is" is unnecessary.)
    • "Owing to the potential benefits for residents." (This is a sentence fragment; it should be connected to the previous sentence.)
    • "This is a useful condition because it will make citizens have more endeavour..." ("Endeavour" is a noun; "work harder" or "strive more" would be more natural.)
  • More complex sentence structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses) could enhance the grammatical range.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key points rather than just restating the opinion.
  2. Improve transitions between ideas for smoother flow.
  3. Vary vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance precision.
  4. Proofread for grammatical accuracy, especially sentence structure and word choice.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but refining coherence, lexical variety, and grammar would make it stronger.