Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

• Strengths:

  • You addressed both parts of the prompt (reasons for homeownership preference and whether it is positive or negative).
  • You provided relevant examples (economic stability, investment benefits, marriage considerations).
  • The essay meets the word count requirement.

• Areas for Improvement:

  • Some arguments could be more developed. For example, the economic instability point could be expanded with specific examples (e.g., inflation rates, housing market trends).
  • The conclusion is somewhat repetitive. Instead of restating points, you could summarize key ideas or offer a final thought.

Coherence and Cohesion

• Strengths:

  • The essay has a logical structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion).
  • Some linking words are used effectively ("Moreover," "As a result," "Therefore").

• Areas for Improvement:

  • Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less smooth (e.g., "having a accommodation plays a crucial role").
  • Transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from economic reasons to marriage could be better connected.
  • Repetition of "buying house" and "renting it" could be varied for better fluency.

Lexical Resource

• Strengths:

  • You use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., "economic instability," "investment," "inflation").
  • There is an attempt at paraphrasing (e.g., "dwellers" instead of "people").

• Areas for Improvement:

  • Some word choices are incorrect or unnatural (e.g., "having a accommodation" → "having accommodation"; "secure safe living condition" → "secure a safe living condition").
  • Spelling errors ("deposite" → "deposit," "conslusion" → "conclusion").
  • More precise vocabulary could be used (e.g., "flexibility" is vague in the conclusion).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

• Strengths:

  • You attempt complex sentence structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses).
  • Some sentences are grammatically correct and well-structured.

• Areas for Improvement:

  • Several grammatical errors affect clarity:
    • Subject-verb agreement: "having a accommodation plays" → "having accommodation plays."
    • Article misuse: "a accommodation" → "accommodation" (uncountable).
    • Tense consistency: "the price of house has been increasing" → "the price of houses has been increasing."
    • Word form errors: "benefiting from their economic stability" → "benefit from their economic stability."
  • Some sentences are fragmented or unclear (e.g., "This can lead to flexibility, and they would not worry about paying rent." – What does "flexibility" refer to?).

Suggestions for Improvement

1. Proofread for grammar and spelling to avoid basic errors.
2. Expand explanations with more specific examples (e.g., real estate trends, government policies).
3. Improve cohesion by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions.
4. Vary vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., "homeownership" instead of "buying a house").
5. Clarify ideas to ensure each sentence contributes clearly to the argument.

Overall, your essay has a good foundation but would benefit from more precise language, better grammar, and deeper analysis. Keep practicing!