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Question:
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Response:
Nowadays, advertisements have played an indispensable role in the marketing and advertising industry has become an important field. Although some feel that adverts are no longer at the center of customers' attention, I completely agree with those who believe that advertising is extremely beneficial to convincing consumers. On the one hand, it could be argued that some advertisements are too repetitive and boring. This similar content is always exaggerating the benefits of particular goods and consumers may no longer trust them. As a result, these adverts do not influence customers' decisions. Additionally, it is said that some advertisements can be intrusive, especially while people are watching a movie or reading an article. Take online advertising as an example; with every click, people may be faced with numerous adverts, wasting their time. On the other hand, advertisements play a crucial role in creating demand. The more advertising content is produced, the more people will be encouraged to purchase it. Social network platforms, for instance, have definitely motivated individuals to buy some products advertised on the internet. Moreover, it is undeniable that most adverts are carefully designed, enabling them to seem interesting. These well-created advertisements are able to manipulate shoppers and influence their shopping habits. Consequently, this content can absorb countless customers, making a profit for producers. To sum up, while opponents of the success of advertising view these advertisements as repetitive and intrusive, I wholeheartedly believe that they are extremely rewarding to creating demand and persuading people to purchase products.
Marking your essay. This might take a few minutes.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Nowadays, advertisements have played an indispensable role in the marketing and advertising industry, which has become an important field. Although some feel that adverts are no longer at the center of customers' attention, I completely agree with those who believe that advertising is extremely beneficial toeffective in convincing consumers. On the one hand, it could be argued that some advertisements are too repetitive and boring. This similar content is always exaggerating often exaggerates the benefits of particular goods, and consumers may no longer trust them. As a result, these adverts do not influence customers' decisions. Additionally, it is said that some advertisements can be intrusive, especially whilewhen people are watching a movie or reading an article. Take online advertising as an example; with every click, people may be faced with encounter numerous adverts, wasting their time. On the other hand, advertisements play a crucial role in creating demand. The more advertising content is produced, the more people will be encouraged to purchase itproducts. Social networkmedia platforms, for instance, have definitely motivated individuals to buy some products advertised on the internetonline. Moreover, it is undeniable that most adverts are carefully designed, enablingmaking them to seem interesting. These well-createdcrafted advertisements are able to manipulate can influence shoppers and influenceshape their shopping habits. Consequently, this content can absorbattract countless customers, making a generating profit for producers. To sum up, while opponents of the success of advertising view these advertisements as repetitive and intrusive, I wholeheartedly believe that they are extremely rewarding toeffective in creating demand and persuading people to purchase products.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Nowadays, advertisements have played an indispensable role in the marketing and advertising industry has become an important field. Although some feel that adverts are no longer at the center of customers' attention, I completely agree with those who believe that advertising is extremely beneficial to convincing consumers.
Nowadays, advertisements play an indispensable role in marketing, and the advertising industry has become a significant field. Although some argue that advertisements no longer capture customers' attention effectively, I firmly believe that advertising remains highly beneficial in influencing consumer behavior.
On the one hand, it could be argued that some advertisements are too repetitive and boring. This similar content is always exaggerating the benefits of particular goods and consumers may no longer trust them. As a result, these adverts do not influence customers' decisions. Additionally, it is said that some advertisements can be intrusive, especially while people are watching a movie or reading an article. Take online advertising as an example; with every click, people may be faced with numerous adverts, wasting their time.
On the one hand, critics contend that many advertisements are overly repetitive and lack originality. These advertisements often exaggerate the benefits of products, which may lead consumers to distrust them. As a result, such ads may fail to impact purchasing decisions. Additionally, some advertisements can be intrusive, particularly when they interrupt entertainment or reading. For example, online advertisements frequently appear with every click, disrupting user experience and wasting time.
On the other hand, advertisements play a crucial role in creating demand. The more advertising content is produced, the more people will be encouraged to purchase it. Social network platforms, for instance, have definitely motivated individuals to buy some products advertised on the internet. Moreover, it is undeniable that most adverts are carefully designed, enabling them to seem interesting. These well-created advertisements are able to manipulate shoppers and influence their shopping habits. Consequently, this content can absorb countless customers, making a profit for producers.
On the other hand, advertising is essential in generating demand. The more exposure consumers have to advertisements, the more likely they are to consider purchasing the promoted products. Social media platforms, for instance, have proven highly effective in motivating users to buy advertised goods. Furthermore, many advertisements are meticulously designed to be engaging and persuasive. These well-crafted ads can shape consumer preferences and shopping habits, ultimately driving sales and increasing profits for businesses.
To sum up, while opponents of the success of advertising view these advertisements as repetitive and intrusive, I wholeheartedly believe that they are extremely rewarding to creating demand and persuading people to purchase products.
In conclusion, while some view advertisements as repetitive and intrusive, I strongly believe that they are invaluable in stimulating demand and persuading consumers to make purchases.
Band Score: 7

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses both views presented in the prompt and provides a clear opinion. However, the introduction could be more precise in outlining the two perspectives before stating the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs present arguments for both sides effectively, but some points could be developed further with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The conclusion restates the opinion clearly but could be slightly more nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing and a good flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For example, phrases like "Additionally" and "Moreover" help, but a few sentences feel abrupt. The argument would benefit from more cohesive devices to link ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with words like "indispensable," "intrusive," and "manipulate" showing a good range. However, there is some repetition (e.g., "advertisements" is used frequently), and a few phrases could be more precise (e.g., "extremely beneficial to convincing consumers" could be reworded for clarity). More varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions would enhance lexical richness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The grammar is mostly accurate, but there are minor errors and awkward constructions. For example:

  • "advertising is extremely beneficial to convincing consumers" → "advertising is highly effective at persuading consumers" (more natural phrasing).
  • "This similar content is always exaggerating" → "Such repetitive content often exaggerates" (better tense and word choice).
  • "These well-created advertisements are able to manipulate shoppers" → "These well-crafted advertisements can manipulate shoppers" (more concise).

Some sentences could be more complex to demonstrate a wider range of structures.

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Expand the introduction to briefly summarize both views before stating your opinion.
  2. Develop examples further—instead of just mentioning social media ads, explain how they specifically influence buying behavior.
  3. Vary sentence structures to include more complex constructions (e.g., conditionals, passive voice).
  4. Proofread for minor grammatical errors and rephrase awkward wording.
  5. Increase word count slightly to meet the 250-word requirement, ensuring all arguments are fully developed.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced discussion, but refining clarity, cohesion, and grammatical precision would strengthen it further.

See more samples for this question