Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram
Question:
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Response:
In the present climate, the ability of advertisements to attract the attention of people has sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There are two perspectives concerning this matter. One of these views claim that advertisements can convince individuals to purchase things. Another point of view, however, argues advertising is no longer successful at making the public buy products. I, for one, subscribe to the former opinion. Those who opine that advertisements do not have any effect on people may provide several justifications. Firstly, they refer to the business programs televised in the middle of TV series. Viewers usually turn the TV volume down as soon as these programs are shown. This can prove the general public do not pay attention to them. Furthermore, a tiny minority of citizens might heed posters and billboards in the streets and high ways. The reason may be the fact that the number of these posters has been on the rise in the recent years, so individuals may be used to them. On the other hand, some people argue that advertising is still effective. A number of advertisements may be so appealing and attractive that citizens are markedly tempted to buy certain goods. In other words, even if one does not require a product, they might decide to purchase it. This has been shown by a study at the University of California. More than 50,000 people from various countries were interviewed and asked with regard to their attention to advertisements. Over 67 percent of attendees said that they have had an experience of buying goods that they did not really need and were just tempted by advertisement. What can be concluded from the above is that I believe advertising can be still workable in terms of persuading people to shop for different bargains since plenty of them might be significantly tempting. This has been proven by a research project conducted at an American university.
Marking your essay. This might take a few minutes.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In the present climate, the ability of advertisements to attract thepeople's attention of people has sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There are two perspectives concerning this matter. One of these views claimclaims that advertisements can convince individuals to purchase things. Another point of view, however, argues that advertising is no longer successful at making the public buy products. I, for one, subscribe to the former opinion. Those who opine that advertisements do not have any effect on people may provide several justifications. Firstly, they refer to the business programscommercial breaks televised in the middle of TV series. Viewers usually turn the TV volume down as soon as these programs are shownappear. This can prove the general public dodoes not pay attention to them. Furthermore, a tiny minority of citizens might heednotice posters and billboards inon the streets and high wayshighways. The reason may be the fact that the number of these posters has been on the rise in the recent years, so individuals may be usedhave grown accustomed to them. On the other hand, some people argue that advertising is still effective. A number of advertisements may be so appealing and attractive that citizens are markedlystrongly tempted to buy certain goods. In other words, even if one does not requireneed a product, they might decide to purchase it. This has been shown by a study at the University of California. More than 50,000 people from various countries were interviewed and asked with regard to about their attention to advertisements. Over 67 percent of attendeesparticipants said that they have had an experience of buying goods that they did not really need and were just tempted by advertisementadvertisements. What can be concluded from the above is that I believe advertising can still be still workable effective in terms of persuading people to shop for different bargains since plentymany of them might be significantlyhighly tempting. This has been proven by a research project conducted at an American university.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In the present climate, the ability of advertisements to attract the attention of people has sparked an immense amount of heated debate. There are two perspectives concerning this matter. One of these views claim that advertisements can convince individuals to purchase things. Another point of view, however, argues advertising is no longer successful at making the public buy products. I, for one, subscribe to the former opinion.
In the current climate, the ability of advertisements to capture public attention has sparked significant debate. There are two contrasting perspectives on this issue. One view asserts that advertisements effectively persuade individuals to make purchases, while another argues that advertising has lost its power to influence consumer behavior. I firmly support the former perspective.
Those who opine that advertisements do not have any effect on people may provide several justifications. Firstly, they refer to the business programs televised in the middle of TV series. Viewers usually turn the TV volume down as soon as these programs are shown. This can prove the general public do not pay attention to them. Furthermore, a tiny minority of citizens might heed posters and billboards in the streets and high ways. The reason may be the fact that the number of these posters has been on the rise in the recent years, so individuals may be used to them.
Opponents of advertising's effectiveness present several arguments. Primarily, they point to commercial breaks during television programs, noting that viewers often mute or ignore these advertisements. This suggests a general lack of engagement with such content. Additionally, they observe that roadside billboards and posters receive minimal attention from passersby, possibly because their increasing prevalence has made them commonplace and easy to overlook.
On the other hand, some people argue that advertising is still effective. A number of advertisements may be so appealing and attractive that citizens are markedly tempted to buy certain goods. In other words, even if one does not require a product, they might decide to purchase it. This has been shown by a study at the University of California. More than 50,000 people from various countries were interviewed and asked with regard to their attention to advertisements. Over 67 percent of attendees said that they have had an experience of buying goods that they did not really need and were just tempted by advertisement.
Conversely, proponents maintain that advertising remains highly effective. Many advertisements are designed to be so compelling that they create desire for products consumers might not otherwise need. Research from the University of California supports this claim: in a survey of over 50,000 international participants, 67% admitted purchasing unnecessary items solely due to advertising influence.
What can be concluded from the above is that I believe advertising can be still workable in terms of persuading people to shop for different bargains since plenty of them might be significantly tempting. This has been proven by a research project conducted at an American university.
In conclusion, I contend that advertising retains its power to persuade consumers, as evidenced by both psychological appeal and empirical research. The effectiveness of targeted, well-crafted advertisements in driving consumer behavior remains undeniable.
Band Score: 7

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
  • The arguments are developed with relevant examples, such as the study from the University of California, which strengthens the discussion.
  • However, the conclusion could be more concise. The final sentence repeats the research example unnecessarily instead of summarizing the main points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion).
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing ineffective ads to effective ones could be better linked with a phrase like "Despite these arguments, others believe..."
  • The use of cohesive devices (e.g., "Firstly," "Furthermore," "On the other hand") is appropriate, but some sentences could be more varied in structure to improve flow.

Lexical Resource

  • The vocabulary is generally strong, with words like "immense," "tempted," and "workable" used effectively.
  • Some phrases could be more natural (e.g., "business programs televised in the middle of TV series" could be reworded as "commercial breaks during TV shows").
  • Avoid repetition (e.g., "advertisements" is used frequently; synonyms like "marketing," "promotions," or "commercials" could be used instead).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • The grammar is mostly accurate, but there are minor errors:
    • "asked with regard to their attention to advertisements" → "asked about their attention to advertisements" (more natural phrasing).
    • "advertising can be still workable" → "advertising can still be effective" (better word choice).
  • Some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified for clarity (e.g., "This has been proven by a research project conducted at an American university" could be "This was confirmed by a study at an American university").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Refine the conclusion – Avoid repeating examples and instead summarize key points more succinctly.
  2. Improve transitions – Use more varied linking words to enhance coherence.
  3. Vary vocabulary – Replace repeated terms with synonyms where possible.
  4. Simplify complex sentences – Some sentences could be clearer with simpler phrasing.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced discussion, but minor refinements in cohesion, vocabulary, and sentence structure would enhance clarity and fluency.

See more samples for this question