Task Achievement:
The essay effectively addresses both views presented in the prompt and provides a clear opinion. The arguments are well-developed, with relevant examples (e.g., shopping lists, limited-time offers, and children’s susceptibility) that support each perspective. However, the conclusion could be slightly more balanced by acknowledging the opposing view before reinforcing the writer’s stance.
Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between ideas. The introduction sets up the discussion well, and the body paragraphs present contrasting viewpoints cohesively. However, some sentences could be more tightly linked (e.g., "Moreover, advertising often creates a sense of urgency..." could be more explicitly connected to the previous point).
Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate (e.g., "desensitized," "ubiquitous," "subconscious desires," "impulsive decisions"). However, there is some repetition of words like "influence" and "advertising," which could be replaced with synonyms (e.g., "marketing," "persuasion," "impact"). A few phrases could be more precise (e.g., "flashy advertisements" could be "glossy or exaggerated ads").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The grammar is mostly accurate, with a mix of complex and simple sentence structures. However, there are minor issues:
Suggestions for Improvement:
Overall, the essay is well-argued and meets the task requirements, but minor refinements in cohesion, vocabulary, and grammar could further improve clarity and sophistication.