Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram
Question:
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Response:
Many manufactures produce drinks and food that include high amount of sugar, which lead to varoius health problem. Unhealthy food, including sugary food should become more expensive to motivate people to use less sugary food and consume healtheir alternatives. Personally, I agree with this statments, as this can provide various benefits, including increasing peopl's mental and physical health. Placing higher tax in sugary food can bring several benefits. This encourages people to prioritize healthy lifestyle. If individuals faced higher price for unhealthy food, they would be motivated to replace them by healtheir and more affordable options. This not only improves their physical health but also also lead to having balanced-diet. For examples, many people have experienced higher quality of life and higher phiysical and mental helth by leaving their unhealthy eating habits and eating nutrition food. This can also lead to progressions in various sector of society. The healtheir people societies have, the higher improvement they can experience. Additionally, by reducing the consumption of unhealthy food people are less likely to get serious diseases such as, obesity and diabetes which can decrease the strain on health care system. This can benefit both sociey and goverments. Government can invest this funds in other sectors like education and economic sectors which not only bring financial benefits but also lead to advancements in varoius sectors. In conclusion, increasing the price of sugary products can offers several advantages like healtheir lif style and providing opportunities for other sectors to flourish ,there fore it absolutly can be viewed as a positive development.
Marking your essay. This might take a few minutes.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Many manufacturesmanufacturers produce drinks and food that include high amountamounts of sugar, which leadleads to varoiusvarious health problemproblems. Unhealthy food, including sugary food, should become more expensive to motivate people to useconsume less sugary food and consume healtheirchoose healthier alternatives. Personally, I agree with this statmentsstatement, as this can provide various benefits, including increasing peoplimproving people's mental and physical health. Placing higher tax intaxes on sugary food can bring several benefits. This encourages people to prioritize a healthy lifestyle. If individuals faced higher priceprices for unhealthy food, they would be motivated to replace them by healtheirwith healthier and more affordable options. This not only improves their physical health but also also lead leads to havinga balanced- diet. For examplesexample, many people have experienced a higher quality of life and higher phiysicalbetter physical and mental helthhealth by leaving their unhealthy eating habits and eating nutritionconsuming nutritious food. This can also lead to progressionsprogress in various sectorsectors of society. The healtheirhealthier a society's people societies haveare, the higher improvementmore improvements they can experience. Additionally, by reducing the consumption of unhealthy food, people are less likely to get serious diseases such as, obesity and diabetes, which can decrease the strain on health carethe healthcare system. This can benefit both socieysociety and govermentsgovernments. GovernmentGovernments can invest thisthese funds in other sectors like education and economic sectorsthe economy, which not only bringbrings financial benefits but also leadleads to advancements in varoiusvarious sectors. In conclusion, increasing the price of sugary products can offersoffer several advantages, like healtheir lif stylea healthier lifestyle and providing opportunities for other sectors to flourish. Therefore,there fore it absolutly can absolutely be viewed as a positive development.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Many manufactures produce drinks and food that include high amount of sugar, which lead to varoius health problem. Unhealthy food, including sugary food should become more expensive to motivate people to use less sugary food and consume healtheir alternatives. Personally, I agree with this statments, as this can provide various benefits, including increasing peopl's mental and physical health.
Many manufacturers produce drinks and food that contain high amounts of sugar, which leads to various health problems. Unhealthy food, including sugary products, should become more expensive to motivate people to consume less sugar and choose healthier alternatives. Personally, I agree with this statement, as it can provide various benefits, including improved mental and physical health.
Placing higher tax in sugary food can bring several benefits. This encourages people to prioritize healthy lifestyle. If individuals faced higher price for unhealthy food, they would be motivated to replace them by healtheir and more affordable options. This not only improves their physical health but also also lead to having balanced-diet. For examples, many people have experienced higher quality of life and higher phiysical and mental helth by leaving their unhealthy eating habits and eating nutrition food. This can also lead to progressions in various sector of society. The healtheir people societies have, the higher improvement they can experience.
Implementing higher taxes on sugary foods can bring several advantages. This measure encourages people to prioritize a healthy lifestyle. If individuals faced higher prices for unhealthy food, they would be more motivated to replace them with healthier and more affordable options. This not only improves their physical health but also promotes a balanced diet. For example, many people have experienced a higher quality of life and better physical and mental well-being by abandoning unhealthy eating habits and adopting nutritious diets. This can also lead to progress in various sectors of society. The healthier a population is, the greater the improvements it can achieve.
Additionally, by reducing the consumption of unhealthy food people are less likely to get serious diseases such as, obesity and diabetes which can decrease the strain on health care system. This can benefit both sociey and goverments. Government can invest this funds in other sectors like education and economic sectors which not only bring financial benefits but also lead to advancements in varoius sectors.
Additionally, reducing the consumption of unhealthy food decreases the likelihood of serious diseases such as obesity and diabetes, which would alleviate the strain on healthcare systems. This benefits both society and governments. Governments could then allocate these funds to other sectors, such as education and the economy, leading to financial gains and broader societal advancements.
In conclusion, increasing the price of sugary products can offers several advantages like healtheir lif style and providing opportunities for other sectors to flourish ,there fore it absolutly can be viewed as a positive development.
In conclusion, increasing the price of sugary products can offer several advantages, such as promoting a healthier lifestyle and creating opportunities for other sectors to flourish. Therefore, it can absolutely be viewed as a positive development.
Band Score: 5.5

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement:

  • Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (agreeing with the idea of making sugary products more expensive).
  • The arguments are relevant, discussing health benefits and societal advantages. However, some points could be more developed. For example, the link between higher prices and reduced consumption could be explained more clearly with stronger evidence or examples.
  • The conclusion restates your position but could be more concise and impactful.

Coherence and Cohesion:

  • The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the second paragraph jumps from lifestyle benefits to societal progress without a clear link.
  • Repetition occurs in phrases like "healtheir" (should be "healthier") and "varoius" (should be "various"), which affects readability.

Lexical Resource:

  • There are several spelling errors ("healtheir," "phiysical," "varoius," "sociey," "goverments," "absolutly"), which detract from clarity.
  • Some word choices are awkward or incorrect (e.g., "progressions in various sector of society" could be "advancements in various sectors of society").
  • More precise vocabulary could strengthen the argument (e.g., "taxation" instead of "higher tax," "chronic diseases" instead of "serious diseases").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:

  • There are grammatical errors, such as:
    • "Many manufactures produce" → "Many manufacturers produce"
    • "This not only improves their physical health but also also lead to having balanced-diet." → "This not only improves their physical health but also leads to a more balanced diet."
    • "The healtheir people societies have, the higher improvement they can experience." → This sentence is unclear; a better version could be: "The healthier a society is, the more progress it can achieve."
  • Subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "increasing the price of sugary products can offers" → "can offer").
  • Some sentences are overly long or awkwardly structured, making them harder to follow.

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Proofread carefully to correct spelling and grammar mistakes.
  2. Clarify and expand arguments with more specific examples or data (e.g., studies on sugar taxes reducing consumption).
  3. Improve sentence structure for better flow and readability.
  4. Use more precise vocabulary to strengthen your points.

Overall, your essay presents a clear stance and relevant arguments but would benefit from better accuracy and development. Keep practicing!

See more samples for this question