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Question: Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. ...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Some people believe that competing with others in studying, working, and generally in our every aspectsaspect of our lives is a positive act, while others argue that people should work together and collaborate instead. In my opinion, although competitionscompetition can be beneficial to a certain extent, cooperation can be more effective and more advantageous. On the one hand, competitionscompetition can motivate individuals to thrive in their studies or professions. Motivation contributes to enhanced performancesperformance and surpassing other people in the field. This happens because individuals compare themselves to others and analise otheranalyse others's actions to do better than them. Competition can also happenoccur while people compare their past selfselves to the person they have become atin the present,; therefore, they can see how much they grewhave grown and work on their weaknesses. ThereforeConsequently, productivity would improve as people try to achieve higher positions and attainments, and personal and public growth would happen along together. Cooperation, on the other hand, is more beneficial because people tend to help and assist eachothereach other in hardships and difficaltiesdifficulties. Individuals can ask for guidenceguidance about their problems, and they will be sure that there is always someone to support them and give advice. In addition, when people work in a team, they divide the necessary tasks and responsibilities, so in this way projects may complete inbe completed at a faster pace while being more reliable, considering the fact that several people hadhave worked on them before and removed almost all the mistakes. All these reasons lead to a safer environment for everyone to thrive peacefully with other people's collaboration and assistenceassistance. I believe that competitoncompetition can be less productive than cooperation. The reason is that, when people compete with their colleagues or classmates, they compare their abilities and actions to people who have completely different abilities and backgrounds, and this leads to increasingincreased anxiety, self -doubt, and serious mental issues. As a result, productivity and efficiency would considerably decline. So I think cooperation is a better choice. In conclusion, Whilewhile competing with our classmates and other people can benefit us, I believe that cooperation is more effective and creates a safer environment to grow.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some people believe that competing with others in studying, working, and generally in our every aspects of our lives is a positive act, while others argue that people should work together and collaborate instead. In my opinion, although competitions can be beneficial to a certain extent, cooperation can be more effective and more advantageous.
Some people believe that competing with others in studying, working, and generally in all aspects of our lives is a positive endeavor, while others argue that individuals should work together and collaborate instead. In my opinion, although competition can be beneficial to a certain extent, cooperation is often more effective and advantageous.
On the one hand, competitions can motivate individuals to thrive in their studies or professions. Motivation contributes to enhanced performances and surpassing other people in the field. This happens because individuals compare themselves to others and analise other's actions to do better than them. Competition can also happen while people compare their past self to the person they have become at the present, therefore they can see how much they grew and work on their weaknesses. Therefore, productivity would improve as people try to achieve higher positions and attainments, and personal and public growth would happen along together.
On the one hand, competition can motivate individuals to excel in their studies or professions. This motivation contributes to enhanced performance and encourages individuals to surpass their peers. People often compare themselves to others and analyze their actions to improve. Competition can also occur when individuals reflect on their past selves and recognize how much they have grown, prompting them to address their weaknesses. Consequently, productivity tends to improve as individuals strive for higher positions and achievements, leading to both personal and collective growth.
Cooperation, on the other hand, is more beneficial because people tend to help and assist eachother in hardships and difficalties. Individuals can ask for guidence about their problems, and they will be sure that there is always someone to support them and give advice. In addition, when people work in a team, they divide the necessary tasks and responsibilities, so in this way projects may complete in a faster pace while being more reliable, considering the fact that several people had worked on them before and removed almost all the mistakes. All these reasons lead to a safer environment for everyone to thrive peacefully with other people's collaboration and assistence.
On the other hand, cooperation is more beneficial because it fosters an environment where individuals can help and support each other during hardships and difficulties. Individuals can seek guidance regarding their problems, knowing that there is always someone available to offer support and advice. Additionally, when people work in teams, they can divide necessary tasks and responsibilities, allowing projects to be completed at a faster pace while ensuring reliability, as multiple individuals contribute to the work and help eliminate errors. All these factors create a safer environment for everyone to thrive collaboratively.
I believe that competiton can be less productive than cooperation. The reason is that, when people compete with their colleagues or classmates, they compare their abilities and actions to people who have completely different abilities and backgrounds, and this leads to increasing anxiety, self doubt, and serious mental issues. As a result productivity and efficiency would considerably decline. So I think cooperation is a better choice.
I believe that competition can be less productive than cooperation. When individuals compete with their colleagues or classmates, they often compare their abilities and actions to those of others who may have entirely different skills and backgrounds. This can lead to increased anxiety, self-doubt, and serious mental health issues. As a result, productivity and efficiency may decline significantly. Therefore, I contend that cooperation is the better choice.
In conclusion, While competing with our classmates and other people can benefit us, I believe that cooperation is more effective and creates a safer environment to grow.
In conclusion, while competing with our classmates and peers can offer certain benefits, I believe that cooperation is more effective and fosters a safer environment for personal and collective growth.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on competition and cooperation. It provides a clear opinion, stating that while competition has its benefits, cooperation is more advantageous. The response includes relevant examples and explanations to support the arguments, fulfilling the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, contributing to a logical flow of ideas. Transition words and phrases such as "on the one hand," "on the other hand," and "in conclusion" help guide the reader through the argument. However, some sentences could be more concise to improve clarity and coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate word choices such as "motivate," "productivity," "guidance," and "collaboration." However, there are a few spelling errors, such as "analise" (analyze), "eachother" (each other), "difficalties" (difficulties), "guidence" (guidance), "assistence" (assistance), and "competiton" (competition). Correcting these errors would enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay shows a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as "in our every aspects of our lives" (in every aspect of our lives) and "projects may complete in a faster pace" (projects may be completed at a faster pace). Addressing these issues would improve grammatical accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Spelling and Grammar: Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading the essay can help identify and correct these mistakes.
  2. Conciseness: Some sentences could be more concise. For example, "This happens because individuals compare themselves to others and analise other's actions to do better than them" could be simplified to "Individuals are motivated to improve by comparing themselves to others."
  3. Examples: Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate points, particularly in the discussion of competition's benefits and drawbacks.
  4. Clarity: Ensure that each sentence clearly conveys its intended meaning, avoiding ambiguity.

Overall, the essay effectively discusses the topic and presents a clear opinion, but addressing the noted issues would enhance its quality.