Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

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There is an ongoing debate about howthe effectiveness of advertisement. While some argue that nowadays these commercials are no longer have their impacts on individuals, others advocate for the significant effects of advertisement. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people. On the one hand, it is undeniableundeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisementadvertisements that they watchedwatch. The science of experts who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising. Most of them are industrial psychologists who studiedstudy human behavioursbehaviour and the techniques of persuading people. In this way, they know the exact colorscolours and words to attract customers, and even their needs are obvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to many online platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube and TikTok, which make it easy tofor advertising agencyagencies to draw different groupgroups of customers. On the other hand, despite above arguments, other group argue that because of the public awareness of On the other hand, despite above arguments, other group others argue that because of the public awareness of these commercialcommercials's facts, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice that advertisements aredo not always show the truth ofabout the products,; they are actually someenhanced with special effects, for . For example, the fast-food restaurants, theirimages advertised by fast-food advertised images restaurants are often not often quiet quite the same as the reality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, theses these advertisements have become far too normal for viewers, 5oso they prefer to skip them instead of watching them or or purchase the premium version to avoid advertising. In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising still has still its the power to attract customers or not. Although some believe that people are aware that advertisements are sometimes hide the truth, and therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods are used onin advertising meet the market market demands. lassertI assert that commercial advertising has the most vital impact on the humans.
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Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, the second body paragraph is incomplete and contains a repetition ("On the other hand, despite above arguments, other group argue that because of the public awareness of these commercial's facts..."). This affects clarity and coherence.
  • Some arguments lack depth. For example, the point about "industrial psychologists" could be expanded with more concrete examples or studies to strengthen your argument.
  • The conclusion restates your opinion but could be more concise and avoid repetition.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased or fragmented (e.g., "nowadays these commercials are no longer have their impacts on individuals").
  • The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. For example, the second body paragraph starts with a repetition and lacks smooth flow.
  • Some sentences are too long and could be broken down for better readability (e.g., "The science of experts who create them is a major reason for power of advertising.").

Lexical Resource

  • There are several grammatical and word choice errors:
    • "nowadays these commercials are no longer have their impacts" → "nowadays, these commercials no longer have an impact"
    • "the science of experts who create them is a major reason for power of advertising" → "the expertise of advertisers plays a major role in the power of advertising"
    • "their needs are obvious to them" → unclear phrasing; consider rewording.
  • Some spelling mistakes: "5o" instead of "so," "lassert" instead of "I assert."
  • Vocabulary is generally appropriate, but some phrases could be more natural (e.g., "far normal" → "too common").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are frequent grammatical errors:
    • Subject-verb agreement issues ("other group argue" → "other groups argue").
    • Incorrect word forms ("advertising agency" → "advertising agencies").
    • Missing articles ("the public awareness" → "public awareness").
  • Some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly structured (e.g., "they are actually some special effects").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Revise for clarity and conciseness – Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence flows logically.
  2. Proofread carefully – Fix grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and awkward phrasing.
  3. Strengthen arguments – Provide more specific examples or evidence to support claims.
  4. Improve transitions – Use linking words more effectively to guide the reader.

Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion, but refining grammar, coherence, and argumentation will make it stronger. Keep practicing!