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Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
While some individuals contend that accepting tough conditions is the optimal approach, others argue that improvement in improving the conditions should be preferable. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my point of view. On one hand, some individuals are opposed to the changeschange. They believe that what people experience is part of their lives, so that they should acknowledge challenges and difficulties, which leads to a stability in their lives. For instance, working in a position whichthat provides insufficient satisfaction is more convenient than acquiring new skills and roles for another occupation. Moreover, adapting withto difficulties can help people to acknowledge what they have and avoid consumerism because they strive to put up with financial instability. For example, insufficient budgets can oblige individuals to do less impulsive shopping, contributing to enhanced tolerance of thetheir condition. On the other hand, proponents of development believe that by making enoughsufficient efforts, people can have better lives. They argue that the acceptance of challenging conditions can leave behind hold people back from progress and success, which can deteriorate their situations. Once people accept that financial problems should be acceptedtolerated, they may lose what they have and become homeless because they try to acknowledgeaccept the condition instead of making money to alleviate it. Furthermore, people may suffer from emotional diseasesdisorders like depression and isolation when they are not satisfied with what they do, leading to lesslower productivity in the workplace. To conclude, while some individuals argue that the adaptation ofto adverse conditions can enhance stability and tolerance in their lives, I believe that people should strive to convertchange the conditions because accepting the problems can not only worsen the conditionsituation but also make people depressed and less productive.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
While some individuals contend that accepting tough conditions is the optimal approach, others argue that improvement in the conditions should be preferable. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my point of view.
While some individuals contend that accepting challenging circumstances is the optimal approach, others argue that striving to improve unfavorable conditions is preferable. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint.
On one hand, some individuals are opposed to the changes. They believe that what people experience is part of their lives so that they should acknowledge challenges and difficulties, which leads to a stability in their lives. For instance, working in a position which provides insufficient satisfaction is more convenient than acquiring new skills and roles for another occupation. Moreover, adapting with difficulties can help people to acknowledge what they have and avoid consumerism because they strive to put up with financial instability. For example, insufficient budgets can oblige individuals to do less impulsive shopping, contributing to enhanced tolerance of the condition.
On one hand, proponents of acceptance argue that enduring difficulties fosters resilience and stability. They believe that challenges are an inevitable part of life, and learning to adapt helps individuals appreciate their current circumstances. For example, remaining in an unsatisfying job may seem easier than acquiring new skills for a career change, as it provides financial security. Additionally, adapting to financial constraints can discourage impulsive spending, promoting frugality and contentment.
On the other hand, proponents of development believe that by making enough efforts people can have better lives. They argue that the acceptance of challenging conditions can leave behind people from progress and success, which can deteriorate situations. Once people accept financial problems should be accepted, they may lose what they have and become homeless because they try to acknowledge the condition instead of making money to alleviate it. Furthermore, people may suffer from emotional diseases like depression and isolation when they are not satisfied with what they do, leading to less productivity in the workplace.
On the other hand, advocates for improvement assert that persistent effort can lead to better living conditions. They argue that passive acceptance may hinder progress, exacerbating problems over time. For instance, resigning oneself to financial struggles without seeking solutions could result in worsening debt or even homelessness. Moreover, enduring unfulfilling circumstances may contribute to mental health issues such as depression, ultimately reducing productivity and overall well-being.
To conclude, while some individuals argue that the adaptation of adverse conditions can enhance stability and tolerance in their lives, I believe that people should strive to convert the conditions because accepting the problems can not only worsen the condition but also make people depressed and less productive.
In conclusion, while adapting to adversity may foster stability in the short term, I firmly believe that actively seeking improvement is more beneficial. Merely accepting unfavorable conditions can perpetuate hardship and negatively impact mental health, whereas proactive efforts can lead to long-term success and personal fulfillment.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. The arguments for accepting a bad situation (stability, reduced consumerism) and improving it (avoiding stagnation, preventing emotional distress) are well-developed. However, some points could be more nuanced—for example, the example about homelessness is somewhat extreme and could be replaced with a more common scenario. The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reinforces the writer’s stance.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing and a smooth flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For instance, "Moreover, adapting with difficulties can help people to acknowledge what they have..." could be linked more explicitly to the previous point. Additionally, minor grammatical errors (e.g., "adapting with difficulties" should be "adapting to difficulties") slightly disrupt coherence.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with words like "consumerism," "deteriorate," and "alleviate" demonstrating a good range. However, there are some awkward phrasings (e.g., "adapting with difficulties," "oblige individuals to do less impulsive shopping") that could be refined for better clarity and naturalness. Repetition of "conditions" and "acknowledge" could be varied for better lexical diversity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors:

  • Subject-verb agreement: "what people experience are part of their lives" (should be is).
  • Preposition errors: "adapting with difficulties" (should be to).
  • Article usage: "a stability" (should be stability without an article).
  • Word choice: "convenient" is misused in "more convenient than acquiring new skills" (better: easier or safer).

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Refine transitions between ideas for smoother coherence.
  2. Replace extreme examples (e.g., homelessness) with more relatable scenarios.
  3. Correct grammatical errors, particularly prepositions and article usage.
  4. Vary vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., use "tolerate" instead of "acknowledge" in some places).

Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but polishing grammar and phrasing would enhance clarity and fluency.