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Question: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. W...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Ownership of a house has always been a considerable issue in some countries. Mostly, people prefer to buy a house rather than rent one, however, provision of providing an adequate amount of money to purchase a house necessitatenecessitates some measures. In my opinion, thrivingstriving to be an owner brings more stability and welfare. To begin with, people who are renting houses for years, won't be sure of next year's situation. They cannot firmly decide where their children should be enrolled in a school. For example, my professor at university who hasdoes not own a house, he has never assured us whether nexthe will come to our university next year or nonot, because he has to choose if he can rent a flat aroundnear the university or nonot. On the other sidehand, people who possessown a place to live in, they are able of makingto make firm decisions about enrolment of their children's enrolment or job situation most of the time. Family members' peace of mind and less levellower levels of stress are consequences of housing stability that leadslead to mindfulness in careertheir careers. When people are less stressfulstressed, they will perform more effectively in their jobjobs. Furthermore, individuals who are in have a stable home, have more opportunity of savingopportunities to save money. Not only are they are not pressurizedpressured to pay rent or get a mortgage to live in a place, but also there is also a possibility of financefinancial improvement. As a result, people can save their money for subsequentfuture purposes. For example, in many countries, people open an account and pile up save their money to get a considerable mortgage to facilitate achieving their goal achievementgoals. To conclude, stable housing should be viewed as a positive situation. Career efficacy and achieving other goals achievement are effective results of househome ownership, however, buying a private house is not that much approachableeasily achievable.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Ownership of a house has always been a considerable issue in some countries. Mostly, people prefer to buy a house rather than rent one, however provision of an adequate amount of money to purchase a house necessitate some measures. In my opinion, thriving to be an owner brings more stability and welfare.
Ownership of a house has always been a significant issue in many countries. Generally, people prefer to buy a house rather than rent one; however, the provision of an adequate amount of money to purchase a house necessitates certain measures. In my opinion, striving to be a homeowner brings more stability and welfare.
To begin with, people who are renting houses for years, won't be sure of next year situation. They cannot firmly decide where their children should be enrolled in a school. For example, my professor at university who has not a house, he has never assured us whether next will come to our university or no, because he has to choose if can rent a flat around the university or no. On the other side people who possess a place to live in, they are able of making firm decisions about enrolment of their children or job situation most of the time. Family members' peace of mind and less level of stress are consequences of housing stability that leads to mindfulness in career. When people are less stressful, they will perform effectively in their job
To begin with, individuals who have been renting houses for years often face uncertainty about their future living situations. They cannot confidently decide where their children should be enrolled in school. For example, my professor at university, who does not own a house, has never assured us whether he will return to our university next year because he must choose whether he can rent a flat near the university. In contrast, people who own their homes are generally able to make firm decisions regarding their children's education and job situations. The peace of mind and reduced stress levels that come from housing stability lead to greater mindfulness in their careers. When individuals experience less stress, they tend to perform more effectively in their jobs.
Furthermore, individuals who are in a stable home, have more opportunity of saving money. Not only they are not pressurized to pay rent or get a mortgage to live in a place but also there is a possibility of finance improvement. As a result, people can save their money for subsequent purposes. For example, in many countries people open an account and pile up their money to get a considerable mortgage to facilitate their goal achievement.
Furthermore, individuals living in stable homes have more opportunities to save money. Not only are they not pressured to pay rent or secure a mortgage for housing, but they also have the potential for financial improvement. As a result, people can save their money for future purposes. For instance, in many countries, individuals open savings accounts and accumulate funds to secure a substantial mortgage, facilitating the achievement of their goals.
To conclude, stable housing should be viewed as a positive situation. Career efficacy and other goals achievement are effective results of house ownership, however buying a private house is not that much approachable.
In conclusion, stable housing should be viewed as a positive situation. Career effectiveness and the achievement of other goals are significant benefits of homeownership; however, buying a private house is not always easily attainable.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing why homeownership is important and presents a clear opinion that it is a positive situation. However, the response could be more focused and developed. Some points, such as the example of the professor, are unclear and not fully explained. The conclusion is present but somewhat abrupt. To improve, ensure that each point is well-supported with clear examples and reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less natural (e.g., "he has never assured us whether next will come to our university or no"). Using clearer linking words (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast") would improve coherence. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better readability.

Lexical Resource:
There is a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are incorrect or unnatural (e.g., "provision of an adequate amount of money," "thriving to be an owner"). Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "stable housing" and "housing stability"). To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary. Avoid awkward phrasing by simplifying sentences where needed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ("my professor... he has not a house"), incorrect word forms ("less stressful" should be "less stressed"), and missing articles ("a house" vs. "house"). Some sentences are incomplete or confusing ("they are able of making firm decisions"). Proofreading for grammar and sentence structure would significantly improve clarity.

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Clarify Examples: Ensure examples are relevant and clearly explained (e.g., the professor’s situation is unclear).
  2. Improve Sentence Structure: Break long sentences into shorter, clearer ones.
  3. Enhance Vocabulary: Use more natural phrasing and avoid repetition.
  4. Proofread for Grammar: Check for subject-verb agreement, articles, and word forms.
  5. Strengthen Transitions: Use cohesive devices to improve flow between ideas.

With these adjustments, the essay would be more coherent, grammatically accurate, and persuasive.