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Question:
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Response:
The variety of university subjects has significantly increased over the past few decades. Despite the arguments of some people that all of the time and attention of the students must be allocated to their own major, in this essay I intend to discuss about why the opposite of this belief is true. The reasons for this are twofold. First, it is vitally important that we appreciate the importance of some courses. On one hand, some people might believe it is not worthwhile for students to learn about general courses which do not belong to their main major. On the other hand, some teachers and parents encourage children to learn about different subjects. With regard to both views, it is my personal belief that all university students in the world must know a negligible amount of knowledge in different criteria. Some university's courses such as art, personal growth or psychology are essential and despite the fields of study, it is crucial for all members of society to know about it. For instance if biology students do not know anything about how to develop a well-balanced character or how to incorporate personal boundaries, they might be face difficulties in their personal lives and finding an appropriate partner. Furthermore, if art students do not know any tips related to business, it is hard for them to found a startup in the future. Moreover, in my opinion, it is the university's responsibility to provide different extracurricular activities and classes. One of the best ways to do this is to provide different facilities such as a sports club, and music club along with art and psychology classes aimed at encouraging students to participate in those activities in their leisure time. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my view that it is essential for students to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject.
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The variety of university subjects has significantly increased over the past few decades. Despite the arguments of some people that all of the time and attention of the students must be allocated to their own major, in this essay I intend to discuss about why the opposite of this belief is true. The reasons for this are twofold. First, it is vitally important that we appreciate the importancesignificance of some courses. On one hand, some people might believe it is not worthwhile for students to learn about general courses which do not belong to their main major. On the other hand, some teachers and parents encourage children to learn about different subjects. With regard to both views, it is my personal belief that all university students in the world must know a negligibleminimal amount of knowledge in different criteriaareas. Some university's courses such as art, personal growth or psychology are essential and despite the fields of study, it is crucial for all members of society to know about itthem. For instance, if biology students do not know anything about how to develop a well-balanced character or how to incorporate personal boundaries, they might be face difficulties in their personal lives and finding an appropriate partner. Furthermore, if art students do not know any tips related to business, it is hard for them to found a startup in the future. Moreover, in my opinion, it is the university's responsibility to provide differentvarious extracurricular activities and classes. One of the best ways to do this is to provide different facilities such as a sports club, and music club along with art and psychology classes aimed at encouraging students to participate in those activities in their leisure time. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my view that it is essential for students to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
The variety of university subjects has significantly increased over the past few decades. Despite the arguments of some people that all of the time and attention of the students must be allocated to their own major, in this essay I intend to discuss about why the opposite of this belief is true. The reasons for this are twofold. First, it is vitally important that we appreciate the importance of some courses. On one hand, some people might believe it is not worthwhile for students to learn about general courses which do not belong to their main major. On the other hand, some teachers and parents encourage children to learn about different subjects. With regard to both views, it is my personal belief that all university students in the world must know a negligible amount of knowledge in different criteria. Some university's courses such as art, personal growth or psychology are essential and despite the fields of study, it is crucial for all members of society to know about it. For instance if biology students do not know anything about how to develop a well-balanced character or how to incorporate personal boundaries, they might be face difficulties in their personal lives and finding an appropriate partner. Furthermore, if art students do not know any tips related to business, it is hard for them to found a startup in the future. Moreover, in my opinion, it is the university's responsibility to provide different extracurricular activities and classes. One of the best ways to do this is to provide different facilities such as a sports club, and music club along with art and psychology classes aimed at encouraging students to participate in those activities in their leisure time. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my view that it is essential for students to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject.
The variety of university subjects has significantly increased over the past few decades. Despite the arguments of some people that students should allocate all their time and attention to their major, in this essay, I intend to discuss why the opposite belief is more valid. The reasons for this are twofold. First, it is vitally important to appreciate the value of diverse courses. On one hand, some individuals may argue that it is not worthwhile for students to engage in general courses that do not pertain to their main field of study. On the other hand, many educators and parents encourage children to explore a range of subjects. In light of both perspectives, I firmly believe that all university students should acquire a foundational knowledge across various disciplines. Courses such as art, personal development, and psychology are essential, and regardless of their primary field of study, it is crucial for all members of society to be informed about these areas. For instance, if biology students lack knowledge about developing a well-rounded character or establishing personal boundaries, they may face difficulties in their personal lives and in forming healthy relationships. Furthermore, if art students are unaware of business principles, they may struggle to launch a startup in the future. Moreover, I believe it is the university's responsibility to offer a range of extracurricular activities and classes. One effective way to achieve this is by providing facilities such as sports clubs and music programs, alongside art and psychology courses, to encourage students to engage in these activities during their leisure time. In conclusion, I reiterate my belief that it is essential for students to learn about subjects beyond their major. This holistic approach to education not only enriches their academic experience but also prepares them for the complexities of life beyond university.
Band Score: 6.5

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects. The writer clearly states their opinion, advocating for the importance of learning a variety of subjects. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. While the writer's opinion is clear, the argument for focusing solely on a main subject is not fully developed. Providing more examples or reasons for this viewpoint would strengthen the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The use of transitional phrases such as "On one hand" and "On the other hand" helps to guide the reader through the discussion. However, the essay could improve in coherence by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are logically connected. For instance, the paragraph discussing the importance of general knowledge could be more explicitly linked to the argument about the benefits of learning additional subjects.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used in the essay is appropriate and varied. Terms like "negligible amount of knowledge," "extracurricular activities," and "personal boundaries" demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "a negligible amount of knowledge in different criteria," which could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the phrase "it is crucial for all members of society to know about it" could be more specific about what "it" refers to.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used throughout. There are minor grammatical errors, such as "some university's courses" which should be "some university courses," and "they might be face difficulties" which should be "they might face difficulties." These errors do not significantly impede understanding but should be corrected for greater accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Develop the Counterargument: Provide more reasons or examples for why some believe students should focus solely on their main subjects. This will create a more balanced discussion.

  2. Clarify Ideas: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all ideas are logically connected. This will improve the overall coherence of the essay.

  3. Refine Vocabulary: Rephrase awkward or unclear phrases to enhance clarity and precision.

  4. Correct Minor Errors: Address minor grammatical errors to improve accuracy and readability.

By addressing these areas, the essay can be strengthened to better meet the IELTS writing criteria.

See more samples for this question