Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...

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While a group of people believes that we should accept unpleasant experiences, others think that it is better to turn those bad experiences into good ones rather than accepting them. While I agree with the opinion of the first group to some extent, I firmly believe that the other group is completely right. On the one hand, some people think that accepting bad events is better than facing the problems, and they might be right to some extent. Although, it is worthy to try worth trying to change the bad situations, we should consider that sometimes we cannot improve anything as we do not have any control over problems. In such situations, we should not blame ourselves and complain about what has happened to us. Thus, the best way is to acceptingaccept those situations and try to stay strong. For instance, when someone havehas a disease, it is obvious that it was not that person's fault and in most cases, they are unable to change the situation. Therefore, all they can do is to be patient and increase their tolerance. On the other hand, other people believe that the best solution is to face these issues and try to change them, and I firmly agree with them. First of all, we should always be strong and optimistic. We should have faith and try to upgradeimprove ourselves. Therefore, we should always work towards making bad situations better bythrough our hard work. Moreover, it is better to try and fail rather than being passive all the time. Sometimes, some problems are not unchangeable, but it is our way of thinking that makes solving those problems impossible for us, while they can easily be solved with our effort. Therefore, it is always better to have faith in ourselves and try to improve concerningdifficult situations. In conclusion, although I partly agree with the opinion of the first group, I firmly believe that anotherthe other group is right as it is always better to try to change the bad situations rather than accepting them for many reasons.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
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Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
  • The introduction clearly states the two perspectives and your stance, which is good. However, the phrase "the other group is completely right" could be softened to sound more balanced (e.g., "I lean more toward the second view").
  • The examples (e.g., dealing with a disease) are relevant but could be more developed to strengthen your argument.
  • The conclusion restates your position effectively but could be more concise.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint.
  • Some transitions could be smoother. For example, "Although, it is worthy to try to change the bad situations" should be "Although it is worthwhile to try to change bad situations" (no comma after "Although").
  • Repetition of "the first group" and "the other group" could be varied (e.g., "the former" and "the latter").
  • The phrase "concerning situations" is unclear—"such situations" would be better.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary is generally appropriate, but some word choices could be more precise:
    • "turn those bad experiences into good ones""transform negative experiences into positive ones"
    • "increase their tolerance""build resilience"
    • "upgrade ourselves""improve ourselves"
  • Some awkward phrasing: "it is worthy to try""it is worth trying"
  • Avoid contractions ("don’t""do not") in formal writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors:
    • "when someone have a disease""when someone has a disease"
    • "all they can do is to be patient""all they can do is be patient" (no "to" after "is")
    • "try to upgrade ourselves""strive for self-improvement" (more natural phrasing)
  • Some sentences are overly long and could be split for clarity.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Refine word choice – Use more formal and varied vocabulary.
  2. Improve grammar – Review subject-verb agreement and article usage.
  3. Enhance cohesion – Use more linking words ("Furthermore," "Conversely," "Nevertheless") for smoother transitions.
  4. Strengthen examples – Provide more detailed or real-world examples to support arguments.

Overall, your essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and clarity will make it stronger. Keep practicing!